


Protector

by Yuki_Frill



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A lot of Flashbacks, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Family Drama, Lots of Adrien fluff, Mayura's creation is not called Sentimonster, Nathalie-Adrien bonding for clear skin, Pre-S3 Sentimonster theory, written before s3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-12-09 13:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20995397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuki_Frill/pseuds/Yuki_Frill
Summary: A nightmarish take on the aftermath of Mayura. An unraveling of the past; of the Christmas night where it all began. After Heroes' Day, Nathalie has been haunted by her supervillain counterpart and a little god with coal black eyes. Existential crisis engulfed her. Who is she?From fanfiction.net





	1. Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After years of yearning to thrive in this website, I finally managed to create an account here thanks to Ferisae. I'm importing this story here because it's my favorite. I hope to reach more audience by doing so :)

Power. Control. Euphoria. Dominance. Freedom.

Pain. Restlessness. Pain. Paranoia.

Pain. _Pain._ **Pain.**

Nathalie snapped her eyes open when the blaring, ringing sound of her alarm clock echoed throughout the loft that was her bedroom. Her eyes adjusted to the real world. The white ceiling, the sunshine rays on her right side, peeking through the glass walls. Slowly, she reached to turn off the only source of sound in the modest-sized flat that was no bigger than Adrien’s bedroom, ignoring the mild throbbing lurking around her arm as she did.

Closing her eyes again, she tried to remember and grasp every single fragment of the dream she was seeing before it came to an abrupt stop, stolen by the force that was her alarm clock. No avail. Only the feelings remained, stronger as ever.

The thought of maintaining her perfect work performance was the only thing pushing her out of bed. Her unrested body slipped out of the comforter before she smoothed it out in one swift motion.

She made it down the loft to the main room of her flat, the joint living room and kitchen, wincing and clenching her teeth at the blinding light that made her head throb harder. Robotically, she punched the buttons on her coffee maker and tossed two slices of bread into the toaster before slipping into the small bathroom just below the stairs to have a quick wash. She looked at her wet face reflected on the mirror and huffed bitterly.

She looked miserable. Big black bags under her eyes. Dry, broken lips. Dry, pale skin. She looked like a ghost. She hadn’t been able to rest her body since that day. Since Heroes’ Day.

It’s been three days since then and while Gabriel insisted to give her some days off, she couldn’t ditch him when the company was preparing for the spring line that was expected to be released in a month or so. Due to the recent supervillain development, Gabriel hadn’t made much progress on his designs and if she wasn’t there to back him up and make things easier for him. Oh, she couldn’t even start imagining the chaos.

Nathalie dropped her toothbrush when she saw something in the mirror that wasn’t supposed to be there. A blonde woman. A blond little boy. Smiling from ear to ear as they both were brushing their teeth and humming a kid’s song.

She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head so hard her neck throbbed. When she looked at the mirror again, it was just her plain old face.

When she calmed down, it was when she finally felt the full potential of the throbbing pain persistently hugging her limbs and squeezing her neck as well as the shooting pain radiating from her head.

She reached for the mirror and flipped it open to reveal the medicine box behind it. She grabbed an orange bottle. Painkillers. She had them prescribed since two days ago when Gabriel practically screamed at the Gorilla to drive her to the nearest clinic because she couldn’t even punch the right keys on her computer from the sheer pain.

Only one pill per episode, the doctor had said. But three wouldn’t kill, would it? The last time she consumed just one, it didn’t even stay for one hour before the pain revisited from its short vacation.

After her short bathroom session, she returned to the kitchen for her simple breakfast. She tried to let her mind go blank as she took bites of her plain toast and sips of her black coffee but when her eyes caught the calendar, she had one thing in her mind.

_Adrien’s birthday is in a week,_ she thought and was immediately baffled. She never remembered birthdays without looking at her tab for schedules. One quick check on her tab and she confirmed that she didn’t remember wrong.

She reminisced when she first met the boy. He was only eight. A lovely boy, no less than he was now. A little ball of sunshine and energy who brought smiles and laughter wherever he went. Whenever he visited the office, every employee lit up with glee. The little darling would tackle everyone into a hug and shared the snacks he brought especially for them; his mother following with a smile behind his little throttle. Gabriel was a proud father. Proud and protective of the little angel. Emilie was a loving mother. Always there for her little boy. Always.

And Nathalie… where was she in all of that? Behind the boy? No, that was Emilie’s place. Where was she? Where was she?

Nathalie jumped when her phone went off and immediately relaxed when she saw the displayed name: Mr. Agreste.

“Good morning, sir, is there a problem?” she went straight to the point. Because _Gabriel Agreste_ do not just call his assistant for casual chitchat like some lovesick schoolboy. And she was about to go to work so what was so urgent that couldn’t wait?

“……” She was only met with silence.

Nathalie decided to wait for a few seconds before asking again, “Sir?”

“We need to talk,” he finally said. The phrase itself wasn’t widely known as the harbinger of joyous news but his tone made it even more obvious.

Nathalie had a certain thing in mind that might be just what her boss was hinting at and she didn’t like it. “And we are, sir. May I know the topic of interest?” _Perhaps you’d like to fire me? That would be more bearable. _She didn’t add the last two but she might as well have.

Nathalie braced herself for the answer.

“You.” Nathalie almost forgot to breathe, and he added, “Mayura.”

She recovered quickly. “Perhaps you wouldn’t want to discuss such topic over the phone, sir. I shall be at work in fifteen minutes.” And she was about to get up and carelessly toss her dishes into the sink. Whatever it is as long as she could stall the man.

“Today is your day off.”

“What?” She didn’t even need to check her tab because Nathalie Sanceour do _not _have a day off, not even on Thanksgiving and Christmas. “I do not have the day off, sir,” she stated the fact.

“Yes, you and me both.”

She already said it just a few seconds ago but she would say it again, “_What?_”

Because that was just phenomenal. Gabriel Agreste nearly never took any day off. He would work three hundred and sixty-five days a year if he could. He was just that big of a workaholic. The last time he actually took a vacation was when his wife was still around as she was the one responsible for planning family outings in general. One look at the Agreste house today and that much was obvious. Gabriel and Adrien never had a family outing since then.

Gabriel answered over the phone with a serious tone, “Change out of your suit and into something appropriate for a picnic. I’m waiting down here at your lobby and Adrien is in the car with the Gorilla.”

Nathalie laughed. Why? Because she was not about to say “What?” again.

“With all due respect, sir, have you been drinking?” It was really a rhetorical question because she knew he’s not into alcohol and especially not at this time of the day. And did he mention Adrien or was she hearing things because of the pills?

“You know the answer, Nathalie. Now, keep your pointless questions to yourself and get down here immediately. We don’t have all the time in the world,” Gabriel demanded, controlling as ever.

Logically speaking, if the entire inhabitant of the Agreste house was down there in front of her apartment building, she wouldn’t be able to go to work today. And if she didn’t go down, big boss Gabriel would do anything to go up here and drag her out. So she lightly sighed and said, “Understood, sir. I’ll be down in five minutes.”

“Good,” he said curtly before hanging up.

* * *

The ride was one thing: awkward. Adrien was, of course, elated to have a family outing after so long, but perhaps the combination was a little bit out of expectation. He didn’t expect his Father to actually drag Nathalie along because while the boy loved the woman to bits, he still found it somewhat unsettling that she was present in a _family _outing. Not like he was complaining, really. It was easier to talk to her than his Father, if only by a little.

To make it even more awkward, his Father decided it’s a good time to use the limo. For a picnic. In the driver’s seat, Gorilla was quiet as always. Adrien was sitting across both adults who hadn’t been talking much during the entire ride, with the picnic box on his lap. His Father was clearly busy video-chatting with some clients or investors while Nathalie was assisting him with emailing lower-ranked employees beside him. Although she was wearing casual dress shirt and jeans instead of her usual suit, it was Agreste mansion all over again. Except this time, it’s portable and on the way to Versailles.

Fifteen minutes into the ride, Adrien was looking outside the window, chin on hand, trying to distract himself with the view. Nathalie was finished with her task when she saw the boy across her then looked at Gabriel who was still elucidating his spring line concept to an Italian investor.

“Adrien?” she called and the boy immediately looked at her, expression unreadable. “It is still a fairly long ride until we get there.”

“Yeah,” he sounded a bit down.

To the boy’s surprise, Nathalie got up from her seat and moved so she was sitting beside him. “Do you want to play a game?” she asked.

Adrien’s eyes were wide and his jaw hung loose. Not only because he was excited by the offer but also because he would never imagine the Nathalie he knew to say those words. “Of course! I’m excited, Nathalie!” he said, eyes sparkling in excitement before he winced when he realized he might be interrupting his Father’s video call with his loud voice.

He casted a glance at his Father, who didn’t seem upset, and then sighed in relief.

“What game?” he asked, now softly, as he leaned closer to her.

“Something that does not need equipment, can be done in quiet, and can be played for a long time.” She laid out the conditions and Adrien started brainstorming, putting fingers under his chin for dramatic effect. Then Nathalie suggested, “How about “True or False”?”

She certainly didn’t expect Adrien to snap his back and looked at her wide-eyed like she just swore. Unable to find an appropriate reaction to the boy’s, she turned to see Gabriel, who was wearing the exact same expression as his son. Alright, that settled it.

“I apologize if I said something wrong.” She looked down.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Adrien quickly reassured. “It’s just something my mom always used to do whenever we had a road trip,” he explained gently. “She loved that game. Even though we played it to kill time during the trip at first, we’d end up still playing during the picnic itself.” Adrien chuckled at the fond memory.

“It was our little family tradition,” Gabriel added and Adrien looked a bit surprised that he actually joined the conversation.

“It was.” Adrien nodded.

“I see,” Nathalie commented, not expecting such answer. “That was rude and invasive of me. Let it be known that I have no intentions to get between the Agrestes. Shall we think of something else?”

“I don’t mind, actually,” Adrien countered almost immediately. “It’s been a while. Plus, it’s actually fun and addictive once you start.” Adrien grinned. “But that’s only if you’re comfortable, Nathalie!” he quickly added.

Nathalie casted a discreet glance at Gabriel, who responded her with a nod, then smiled at Adrien. “Shall we start?”

“Awesome!” Adrien pumped his fist. “I’ll start: you’re a woman.”

Nathalie chuckled at the naivety of that first statement.

“Hey, this is just a warmup, okay? I’ll get wilder as we go!” Adrien put up a bravado by cracking his knuckles and grinning confidently that only looked cute to the older woman. She so wanted to give that soft blond hair a tussle for no reason.

“True,” she answered. “Now, it is my turn: you are a good boy.”

“Hey!” Adrien laughed. “Now, that’s not exactly objective, is it?”

“What matters is what I think the answer is. So, what do you think it is, Adrien?” Nathalie asked, half-grinning.

Adrien was grinning widely when he pretended to think hard. “Hmmm… true? I’ll burst into tears if I was wrong.”

“Of course you are a good boy.” She gave him the tussle she’s been dying to give and indeed his hair was soft like cotton. As expected of the top hair treatment.

Adrien was giggling in response to the warm gesture. Across them, Gabriel had been secretly following their game despite his attempt to explain in details about his upcoming spring line to an investor. He couldn’t help the twitch on the corner of his mouth. Maybe it was going to be a fine trip, after all.

* * *

When they arrived to the park, Nathalie and Adrien was on their fourth round of the game.

“Okay, how about this: you love working with my dad.” Adrien said as the Gorilla opened the limo door for him. He nodded and thanked the man before slipping out.

“He could be a prick sometimes, and not to mention he constantly asserts dominance but, true.” Nathalie nodded and followed the boy. Gabriel looking at her retreating back disapprovingly. “You hate modelling.”

Behind them, Gabriel frowned. Adrien looked at his expression and gulped.

“False! Of course I love modelling,” the boy said, not-so-honestly. Gabriel nodded in affirmation.

Nathalie knew it was not the truth but let it slide anyway or she would risk turning the mood sour and they had just arrived to their destination. Their game continued as they laid out a plaid blanket along the grassy field and opened the picnic box, the Gorilla joining them at the corner.

By this time, the game had started to sound like an interview for a biography.

“Your birthday is in the winter,” Adrien said. He’d guessed so because of her name, and he had only realized he never knew her birthday despite knowing her for years. Given how close they had grown to be during this trip, he would love to plan a special gift for her next birthday.

Nathalie was placing sandwiches on paper plates when she suddenly froze. Birthday? When was that? When was she born? Where? How? By _whom_?

“I, uh…” she trailed off and Gabriel immediately cut off their game.

“Perhaps it’s time the two of you paused the game and helped yourselves to lunch, don’t you agree? It has been a long trip,” he suggested.

“Alright, Father, I just need an answer to this one and then we’ll start eating.”

“Now, Adrien.”

Adrien was looking at his dad with a quizzical frown but decided to not question the man as it never ended well. “Yes, Father.”

They ate lunch in silence and Adrien felt his appetite fall again. They had such good atmosphere just a minute ago and now it’s back to the usual cold, soulless dinner with his Father, except this time it’s at the rowdy, lively Versailles. More than that, he was worried about Nathalie who seemed to be a bit down after his question about her birthday. Was that a sensitive question? He felt really bad that the tuna sandwich tasted like soaked sponge.

His mind suddenly wandered to one Christmas night when he was eight. Nathalie wasn’t there, there was only him and his parents and this old Spanish lady who took care of the house during the day and would go home at night. That night his parents promised they would spend Christmas together because it was his Mother’s favorite holiday and they never missed it. He was only a little boy back then; young and hot-headed. His parents cancelled the plan and made him wait with a feast cooked by the Spanish lady before she left for home for a Christmas with her big family. He sat there until the feast grew cold and hard but didn’t eat because he wanted to eat as a family. Near midnight, his parents called and told him they couldn’t make it and he bolted away from home in despair. He couldn’t remember much about what happened after that but he remembered telling his parents every year about how he met a kind, Christmas spirit out there who led him home again.

His mother had always believed what he said about that night so he spent years believing it was true until one day Chloe told him Santa Claus wasn’t real when she caught her Daddy sneaking presents into her Christmas sock one night. She insisted that the Christmas spirit he saw must be fake, too.

“Adrien,” Gabriel called and Adrien snapped out of his daydreaming.

“Yes, Father?”

“Now that you have finished your lunch. Why don’t you and the Gorilla up and ride one of those rowing boats along the Grand Canal? Nathalie and I have some business to attend to.”

Adrien looked back and forth between his Father and Nathalie, trying to maybe crack the secret code that was laid under his Father’s words. Nathalie pushed her glasses upward in a manner that said she was nervous. His Father was looking at him with his usual curt expression.

Adrien sighed. “Yes, Father.” He got up and the Gorilla immediately followed suit.

When they were left alone, Nathalie was the first one to speak. “I was beginning to wonder when you would want to have the talk, sir.” She faced him. “When you said Adrien was coming along, I thought it would never happen.”

Gabriel exhaled. “There are… many things that led to the decisions I made for today.”

“Such as?”

“Your incapacitation two days ago, for one.”

“Oh…” Nathalie looked down, embarrassed by her incompetence being brought up. “How is that related to today’s picnic?”

“I reckon that you have no recollections on what happened. You haven’t said anything about it since that day.”

“Remember what, sir?”

“What you typed on your computer that day.”

Was she even typing actual words that day? “I apologize for that, sir. I was under a lot of pressure and pain I’m quite sure I was only typing nonsense, if not just strings of unreadable letters.”

“No. In fact, they were completely readable.”

“Please tell me I didn’t type out anything embarrassing into the company-owned computer.”

“You didn’t. That, I can assure you.”

“So, what was the problem?”

“You typed out: _I love you—_”

“Oh God,” She buried her face in her hands. How could he say _that _was not embarrassing?

“—_Gabriel and Adrien. I’m always with you._”

Oh. Oh, so that’s what he was implying.

“Nathalie, do you know where I’m going with this?”

“Yes, sir.”

“It was partly my fault that day that you had to use the Peacock despite knowing what it would do to you, that I admit. But you are hereby banned from touching it ever again.”

Nathalie twisted her lips in disapproval. “What if there comes a time when you needed help again, sir? Are you suggesting that I sit by and watch when I have a way to do more?”

“I will make sure that day never comes.” Gabriel nodded, more to himself. “You are no longer allowed to be involved in any Miraculous-related businesses. From today on, you are only my fashion design assistant.”

“Sir—”

“_No._” He glared at her. “Nathalie, don’t make me take extreme measures.”

She was looking at him challengingly. Neither of them was willing to back down. He might be her Boss, but it wasn’t in her job description to listen to his orders outside work. “Why do you care so much?” she decided to ask because she was genuinely curious.

“Because I am _not_ about to be the cause of another person’s death.”

Nathalie frowned. Firstly, her life wasn’t something he should be held account for. Secondly, the first time was not his fault either. Thirdly, his wife was not _dead_. “I will keep using the Peacock, no matter what it does to me,” she announced firmly and he took a sharp inhale, likely to subside his boiling anger inside. “_Sir_, the damage has been done. It is irreversible. I will end up like the Madame; it’s only the matter of when. It could be on my fifth use; it could be on my tenth. What matters is how much I could help you during the wait.”

He took off his glasses and massaged his temple. “I am at loss, Nathalie. You—_how_ do you suppose I will feel if I had to add another tube in the basement to contain _you_?”

“It’s fine, sir.”

“_Nathalie—_”

“For I exist for the sole purpose of protecting you and Adrien; this family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted this story on fanfiction.net last November so there will be a lot of facts from S3 that are absent. I hope that doesn't bother you guys too much :0


	2. Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat of an origin chapter, I guess? And a little Nathalie-Adrien bonding for the soul.

Gabriel stirred in his sleep, his mind persistently showing him a piece of memory despite his hardest effort to push it away. Every time he closed his eyes, all he saw was the cold, dark eyes and screeching that chilled his bones.

It was four years ago. His wife Emilie had used the Peacock Miraculous for the first time two years prior, but after learning that the particular Miraculous was damaged, they had kept it locked behind a safe. And after the brooch remained untouched for two long years, she sought it again.

To be perfectly honest, he was not surprised. The particular Miraculous seemed to be drawing its user in. For two years, Emilie would have recurring dreams about being Mayura. About the small, peacock-like kwami with eyes as dark as coal and haunting cry. He only had one more kwami to serve as comparison—Nooroo—but he was convinced that the Peacock kwami was different. First of all, the peacock never uttered one single coherent word; she either stared or wailed.

The peacock’s power was very unique and powerful. Based on his few experiences seeing it active, Gabriel could conclude that it’s capable of conjuring a physical form out of emotions. The first time Emilie used it was when Adrien ran away from home on Christmas six years ago. The boy had been gone for hours under heavy snow and both parents were unable to stay calm. They had both rushed home when the Gorilla called them saying the boy had up and disappeared and he couldn’t pinpoint how. They had ride for hours circling the city and called for help but the boy was not found.

Three hours after fruitless searching, both parents had returned home and Emilie immediately grabbed the Peacock Miraculous that was displayed in their room as one of the souvenirs from Tibet. She was crying and praying to the piece of jewelry that Gabriel’s heart broke. The next thing they knew, a little god had appeared from the brooch, crying along, and then Emilie was Mayura.

Gabriel watched as she conjured up a ghostly apparition that looked like a combination of a peacock and a woman, much like Mayura herself but less human with the feet of a bird and arms extended into wings. The creature was pure white like the snow outside. It looked at the husband and wife, complete white eyes void of emotion and unreadable, and cocked its head to the side, eerily similar to that of a fowl and undoubtedly inhuman. Its movements were ethereal.

Mayura pleaded to the creature with her eyes as dark as the kwami’s and it seemed as though they were communicating with their minds. The creature leaned into Mayura to study her before making a gesture that looked similar to a nod, then turned on its heel and flew away, going through walls like it was astral.

Half an hour later, a knock on the door was heard and Adrien was out cold in the front door with slight hypothermia. Gabriel was delighted by the return of his son, but was faced with another obstacle when Emilie collapsed after detransforming.

That night, they learned how menacing the power of the Peacock was. Emilie spent weeks to recover from the violent rush of vertigo, coughing fits and shooting pain. They had to tell Adrien that it was the repercussion to wandering in the snow looking for him. But even after keeping it away, it seemed to keep calling on Emilie to come back. Some nights he found his wife stirring in her sleep and mumbling Mayura’s name and some other nights she would walk up to the safe only to say she had no idea she was doing it when asked.

It killed his heart when Nathalie told him the same thing. He had asked if she had dreams about Mayura or Duusu and she confirmed it. She even went as far as admitting that she felt some sort of yearning, longing, that only grew stronger each day. He had noticed how her gaze sometime strayed to the painting of Emilie while at work. Specifically, what lied behind that painting.

Gabriel tossed his comforter away and slipped out of his bed then bolted to his office. He stood before the painting of Emilie and once again questioned himself how everything came to this point. He opened the safe behind the painting and grabbed the brooch, studying it. He couldn’t help but wonder if everything would go back to normal if he destroyed this cursed brooch. How easy would it be?

He gripped the Miraculous hard and murmured under his breath, “Help me, Emilie…”

He didn’t want to keep putting Adrien in danger because losing Emilie alone had driven him to this edge. If he lost Adrien, too, he didn’t know what he was supposed to live for. And yet he abandoned the chance to stop. He decided he had come too far to stop. And now, he was putting another person in danger.

_“It’s fine, sir.”_ Nathalie’s words echoed in his mind. _“Because I exist for the sole purpose of protecting you and Adrien; this family.”_

Was it really fine? Was it humane to let someone else carry the consequences of his actions?

* * *

Nathalie sighed when Gabriel went down to his lair in his secret elevator. He completely ignored her when she tried to help him with his plan. It seemed he had changed the safe’s combination as well so she couldn’t get the Peacock even if she wanted to.

She was about to call the event organizer responsible for next month’s spring line opening ceremony when Adrien peeked into the office.

“Nathalie?” he asked carefully and she looked up at him in response.

“Do you need anything, Adrien?” she asked.

“Uhm, I’m just wondering if my Father’s here.”

“He’s not here right now. But I can pass the message if you want. What do you want to let him know?”

“Oh, no, that’s good. In fact, that’s perfect. I came to talk to you.”

“Me? Very well. Come in, Adrien.”

The boy smiled and allowed himself to fully open the door before slipping in. He was fidgeting and shifting from foot to foot when he was standing in front of her.

“We haven’t had the chance to talk since the picnic,” he spoke up and Nathalie’s brows rose, “but I just want to apologize if I offended you in any way with my questions. I guess I could be a bit invasive as I didn’t know where to draw my line. I hope you’re not mad at me,” he apologized sincerely, looking like a dejected puppy.

The picnic was three days ago and it’s true that they hadn’t had a chance to talk with just the two of them ever since. Most of the time Nathalie would be busy assisting Gabriel, and Adrien would be busy with school, modelling, and additional courses.

A ghost of a smile broke into Nathalie’s face. “I was not offended in the least, Adrien. It was not your fault. I had been feeling under the weather, you know that. I believe the pill’s effect was wearing off the exact time you asked that question so I apologize if it seemed as though I was upset.”

“Oh!” Adrien sprung up again. “I see, so that’s why!” he sounded both delighted and relieved. “So, can you tell me your birthday now? I sort of want to know for personal reasons and not just for the game.” He rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly.

Nathalie racked her brain again. She couldn’t be sure. Everything was a blur. But maybe, it was that night. Yes, it should be that night.

“It’s on Christmas,” she said.

Adrien’s expression was a mix of shock and amazement. “That’s so cool. I wish we knew a lot sooner so we could’ve celebrated your birthday during Christmas all these years because you somehow still work on that day.”

“That really isn’t necessary, but I appreciate the gesture.”

“It is,” he insisted. “You’re missing out on both Christmas party and birthday party. Your family must be frustrated.”

Family, huh.

“I don’t have a family. I also don’t have friends who are close enough to spend the holiday with. Spending Christmas in this mansion every year despite having to work could already be called a blessing.”

Adrien winced at that. “Oh, no, was I being out of the line again?”

Nathalie chuckled softly to let him relax. “No, Adrien, you don’t have to keep treating yourself like a criminal.”

Adrien was about to say something before a scream outside cut him. It was the sign of an Akuma attack. He visibly tensed and was looking at Nathalie and then the door out.

“Okay, uhm, I’ll prepare something for your birthday this year. Look forward to it, okay?” he said, and although he meant it Nathalie couldn’t help but think he wanted to wrap up the conversation in a rush. “I’ll go to my room and do my Chinese homework then practice _mypianookaybye_!” he was basically rapping when he bolted out of the office.

The boy worked too hard, Nathalie noted as she shook her head and returned to her own work. But not before using her own phone to book a gift for Adrien’s birthday. It’s only four days away, after all.

* * *

Gabriel returned from his secret lair with an exasperated sigh and an almost permanent frown. Nathalie was typing into her computer when he did, and as she had been ignored all day, she decided it wasn’t necessary to acknowledge his presence either. She pretended she didn’t notice he was back.

She could tell from the news and the Ladyblog (yes, she visited the site from time to time because it was very up-to-date with the superheroes’ news) more or less what kind of Akuma that failed today. It was no better than that pigeon man Akuma her boss had dispatched a long time ago. This one was defeated in less than ten minutes. The girl who ran the Ladyblog even made such malicious comment about the Akuma.

_“FAIL: Hawkmoth ran out of gas? Better quit now ‘cause not even one city of Akuma can stop our glamorous superheroes.”_

Of course. They had raised the bar by so much back on Heroes’ Day and the superheroes had caught up. Defeating the normal Akuma would be like taking candy from a baby. But then again, anything she said would only fall upon deaf ears. The man’s stubbornness knows no bound.

_“You didn’t have to face such shame if you’d just listen to me.”_ Those words were hanging over the tip of her tongue but never rolled down.

“Emilie…”

“Yes?”

Both of them froze. Gabriel’s body was facing the painting of his wife, but his neck twisted to face his assistant, staring at her over his shoulder. Nathalie was looking up from her computer and eyes locking with her boss’. Both of them wearing mirrored expression.

It took Nathalie a while to process that she responded to the name that wasn’t hers. Gabriel was only having his usual one-sided conversation with the painting but she had to make everything more awkward than it already was.

“I… I apologize, sir. It appears I was not thinking straight.”

He looked like he was contemplating about what to respond. Nathalie wished he could just pretend it never happened. It seemed like the seconds passed so slowly when she waited for him to respond. There was a start of voices in her head but she ignored it because it really wasn’t the time. He was facing her now despite not taking any step forward.

“Emilie,” he repeated again, looking straight at her.

Saying she was confused would be the understatement of the year because her mind was a disoriented whirlwind of blown up common sense. The voices were growing louder in her head. At first it was more like a distant yelling, so far that you couldn’t even pinpoint the language used. But now it was more like an argument in the room next door. It was a combination of voices that wouldn’t let each other finish.

She must not compose herself well because across her, Gabriel’s expression distorted into that of worry and fear. He made a move to get closer but her vision was blurred. Shit, it’s the vertigo again.

She gathered her head in her hands and applied pressure to it as she clenched her teeth hoping it would be over soon. The voices only grew louder. And she was starting to recognize them.

“—alie? _Nathalie!_” Gabriel shouted. She didn’t realize since when he was already by her side, gripping her shoulder so hard like she would vanish if he didn’t.

She felt like she was saying something but she couldn’t hear it. Gabriel seemed to stop shouting when she did.

“…Emilie?” he mumbled, unsurely.

She couldn’t remember what happened after that, only darkness that engulfed her into an icy embrace.

* * *

When she woke up, she was faced with a pair of bright green eyes. They lit up when her eyes met them. And then she began to recognize her surroundings. Glass walls, arcade machines, spiral stairs.

“Nathalie, you’re awake! Hold on, I’ll go call my Father!” Adrien exclaimed, and before she could say anything, he rushed off.

She looked at the glass walls and realized the sky was orange. It was sundown.

It was sundown, too, when she first interacted with the man that was now her boss. It was sundown when she reached for his much bigger hand. It was sundown when he smiled at her and said thank you for the first time.

“Nathalie, how are you feeling?” Gabriel approached her in long strides before hurriedly placing the back of his palm against her forehead without so much as asking for permission. Adrien followed from behind.

“I am fine, sir.”

“You don’t look well, Nathalie. Why don’t you get home early for today? You’ve worked too hard,” Adrien said, clearly worried.

She wanted to decline the offer but it was true that she had no confidence she could get any work done for the rest of the day. Maybe early rest would do the trick.

“I will take the offer.” She used her elbow to push herself up and Adrien instinctively rushed to her side to help steady her stance. Once she was sitting up, she faced Gabriel and asked, “Will you be alright without me for today, sir?”

Gabriel gave a single, firm nod.

She swung her leg out of Adrien’s bed, wobbling a little, then made a move to smoothen the surface but Adrien held her wrist and smiled.

“Don’t bother. I’ll do it later,” he reassured.

Nathalie reluctantly nodded. She faced Gabriel again. “Forgive my incompetence when the spring line is just around the corner, sir.”

“Focus on recovering as your first priority and only then, we can worry about the spring line.”

Adrien shot a look of disbelief at his Father. The coldness of his tone towards a sick person was unbelievable. In his stead, Adrien gave Nathalie an apologetic look, to which she responded with a small smile.

Nathalie bowed to excuse herself, but before she could turn around, Adrien ran up to her and squeezed her in a hug.

“See you tomorrow, Nathalie,” he said when he finally let go.

“Yes. See you tomorrow, Adrien,” she said, smiling at the boy, then nodded at her boss with a neutral expression. “Sir.”

Gabriel nodded in return.

* * *

When Nathalie arrived to her flat, she stripped out of her shoes and blazer but didn’t get changed before plopping herself against her queen-sized mattress on the loft but not before making sure all the lights were off. Lights hurt her head these days.

She had never fallen asleep faster.

The dream she saw was a bit different than the recurring ones she’d had since Heroes’ Day. It was not the dream of darkness and piercing stares from coal-black eyes. It was not the dream of whispers that creeped into her soul. It was not the dream of sinful longing and deep desire.

Instead, it was a dream of an orange sky. It was a dream of distant memories. It was a dream of warm touches and long-lost smiles. It was a dream of fond longing.

It was four years ago.

“Who is this, Emilie?” was Gabriel’s voice. Behind him was the glass walls that looked like a massive painting of sundown.

“This is, uh,” Emilie hesitated before patting her companion’s back. “This is Nathalie. She’s a friend.” She smiled as though it could erase all suspicions. “Say hi to Nathalie, Gabriel. Nathalie, this is Gabriel.”

The blonde woman stood between the two as Gabriel offered the dark-haired woman a handshake.

Nathalie studied his hand, then her icy blue gaze trailed along his arm to his neck then his face. Her stare penetrated Gabriel so deep that the latter didn’t realize he was holding his breath. It struck disturbing familiarity that he didn’t want to recall.

“People don’t shake hands in her country. I guess she’s a bit confused of your gesture, Gabriel,” Emilie immediately slipped in. “Nathalie, you have to take his hand,” she instructed her friend and gently pulled her hand so it was only inches from Gabriel’s.

Nathalie looked at Emilie, then back at Gabriel. She reached for his hand and jumped a bit when he gripped her hand into a light shake.

“Is that so? Where are you from, Miss Nathalie?” Gabriel asked.

Nathalie only looked at him and he was beginning to feel unsettled by the fact that she hadn’t uttered a single word since they’d met. A frightening reminder of a certain black-eyed god. Her blue eyes did nothing to block the black he was starting to see.

“Thailand!” Emilie interrupted. “Remember? Nobody shook our hands last time we were there.”

“She doesn’t look Thai.”

“Her parents took refuge in Thailand. This isn’t exactly a topic we want to bring up, now, is it, honey?”

“True, that,” Gabriel agreed. “What brings her here? If the question isn’t overly invasive,” he asked Emilie, as he assumed the other woman was incapable of speaking their language, if not at all.

“Oh, I thought you wouldn’t ask,” Emilie said, clapping her hands together. “Haven’t you been looking for an assistant? The business is growing and you’re barely able to juggle with everything by yourself.”

“Yes, but you know how many CVs I have turned down in the past month. It is not an easy task to find the perfect assistant, Emilie.”

“Oh, yes, yes, of course. And that is why Nathalie is here; to help you!”

Gabriel casted a look at the dark-haired woman and prepared for more staring but it seemed the particular word made her perk up like a dog.

“Help. Yes, I am here to help,” she said flatly, nodding. Gabriel didn’t know if she was nodding to him or to herself. But moreover, he was simply bewildered that she actually spoke French.

Gabriel looked at his wife with a sigh. “Emilie. While I appreciate the gesture, I cannot just take a stranger as my assistant without knowing her qualities. There are orders to this thing.”

“Trust me, Gabriel, she’s—”

Before Emilie could finish her sentence, Nathalie beat her into it. She took one step forward and looked Gabriel in the eye with such determination. “I want to help you, all the way to the end.”

* * *

A persistent ring snapped Nathalie out of her nostalgic dream. Her room was dark, with her phone screen being the only source of light. She slowly crawled towards her bedside table where the phone was and saw her boss’ name displayed on it.

Swiftly, she picked up the call while her other hand pulled the switch of her bed lamp. “Hello?”

“Did you sleep well?” he asked. Nathalie immediately frowned. What was with the pleasantry? So unlike him.

“I was, before you called, sir.” She was a straightforward woman. Before he continued the conversation with a “You’re fired,” she added, “Do you need me for anything?”

She was walking down the loft to the main room to switch on some more lights when he said, “First thing first; I want you to know that I apologize for how I have been acting since Versailles.”

She rested her back on the couch and massaged her temple to ease her headache before saying, “I can fully understand why you acted the way you do, sir. There is no need for an apology.”

Gabriel hummed over the phone.

They went silent for a few seconds and Nathalie concluded that the conversation was over. “If that is all, I will end the call now. Have a good night, sir—”

“Let us do this, Nathalie”

It took her ten seconds to digest his meaning. “Sir, do you mean…”

“Yes,” he affirmed. “Let us work together. As Hawkmoth and Mayura.”

She honestly did not expect that. All with the ignoring the past three days and changed combination. All with the full-blown speech about his unwillingness to add a tube in the basement. “Are you completely sure of this, sir?”

“Yes. Together, we will save Emilie. Save this family.” He paused. “Because you are our protector.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah!! It's Hawkdaddy and Mommayura time, everybody!


	3. Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Nathalie-Adrien bonding for clear skin. Adrien's birthday is actually decent. And Gabriel has a new objective.

When Gabriel flung the door open in such a hurry, slipping his tie off in one swift motion to reveal the Miraculous underneath, Nathalie looked up from her computer to see what it was about.

“A man just lost his job and custody to his six-year-old. Let’s go, Nathalie.” He was heading steadily to his secret elevator.

“No.”

Gabriel stopped and frowned at her. “What do you mean, no?”

“Today is Adrien’s birthday. Be there for him instead of in your lair orchestrating chaos,” Nathalie demanded and then realized she forgot to add, “sir.” A side effect of being the one in control in their supervillain personas.

Gabriel checked the calendar and made a face.

“It will not take long,” he insisted.

“Adrien will return from school in thirty minutes.”

“Perhaps time pressure will do wonders to improve our performance today.”

Nathalie gave him a flat look. She’d always hated arguing with him because he could be the most unreasonable man on the planet sometimes. It was bad enough that he didn’t personally choose a present for his son, but he wanted to miss the day, too? Not on her watch. And she knew exactly what would make him surrender.

“I don’t—” Nathalie didn’t finish her sentence but instead, started coughing. It began soft and then escalated within seconds. She stole a glance at her boss and realized her plan was working.

“I see you have yet to recover from our last attempt.” He tried to sound neutral but she could practically hear the worry hidden beneath. His usually perfect posture was sloppy, too, like he was holding back from rushing to her side and giving her back a couple of pats. How predictable. “Very well, we shall take a break for today.”

It had been four days since they forged alliance, and there had only been one Akumatization during. It worked quite well, as the Akuma, with the help of his protector, had managed to trap both superheroes in a cage after they had used their powers. The cage was displayed in the TV station, broadcast to the whole city, ready to reveal the true identity of their superheroes with the Akuma as the emcee. Both Hawkmoth and Mayura were elated and so close to their goal when both heroes’ Miraculouses beeped dangerously, but they had overlooked the tiny little detail that was Ladybug’s lucky charm item, hidden inside her fist. It was a little bobby pin that helped both superheroes escape the cage.

The Ladyblog was bombarded with comments on how close the last Akuma had gotten, something which both supervillains took a blooming pride of.

Although, Nathalie was reduced to a coughing mess again once detransformed, and Gabriel had to carry her out of the lair again. Nathalie suggested they did something to overcome the particular shortcoming. Perhaps readying a wheelchair in the lair. The aesthetic would be ruined but at least it would be more efficient. But Gabriel insisted he didn’t mind carrying her once or twice a week to pay her back for the help. After that, they had a discussion over coffee about making sure Ladybug used her Lucky Charm _and_ didn’t keep the item next time, before then moving on to the spring line planning.

“Have you been taking your pills regularly?” Gabriel asked but walked towards his designing tab instead of looking at her, trying to sound as indifferent as possible.

“I have, sir.”

He responded with an impassive hum as his hand started moving on the screen of his tab, likely to start designing, if not just for show. They stayed like that for a while; Gabriel designing and Nathalie making appointments for him through her computer. Before long, they heard the car pulled over in the front yard and they knew Adrien was home.

Nathalie looked up from the screen and Gabriel was already looking at her. They nodded at each other before heading out of the office to greet the boy, Nathalie behind Gabriel.

They were already standing under the staircase when Adrien opened the door inside. He looked a little bit surprised seeing them there because although it was not rare, it was not an everyday occurrence either.

“Hello, Father.” Adrien nodded at Gabriel, who nodded in return. Then he faced the woman beside him with a wide smile. “Hello, Nathalie!” he cheered before running up to her, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek.

“Hello, Adrien.” The woman looked down at him with a ghost of a smile. “Your lunch is waiting for you in the dining hall. Your Father and I will be there shortly.”

“Okay,” he said, bobbing his head up and down before heading to the dining room.

Nathalie looked at Gabriel, who gave her a look of disbelief. “What was that all about?” he asked.

Since their trip to Versailles, Nathalie and Adrien had continued to grow closer. Whenever Nathalie would ride along to send Adrien to school or pick him up, they would have a little conversation in the car about how their day went. About Adrien’s classmates’ antics. About an event organizer that couldn’t do his job. About the ‘A’ Adrien got in physics class. About the client Nathalie couldn’t stand. Sometimes laughing together when they talked about Gabriel’s bad habits, but not before making the Gorilla swore secrecy. Whenever the boy left the car for school or when get on the car after, he would give her a kiss.

“A greeting, sir. Are you envious?” Nathalie tried to suppress the smirk that was beginning to form.

Gabriel huffed mockingly, hands behind his back. “I am not so insecure as to feel threatened by such a young boy.”

Nathalie paused then raised a brow quizzically. What? “I mean, of me. Because… Adrien is your son, and he is supposed to be greeting _you _with a kiss, not me.”

There was an awkward silence between them when Gabriel took too long to respond. Nathalie cast a look at him and he not-so-casually looked away. When thirty seconds passed in silence, Nathalie decided to take over the conversation again.

“Dining hall, sir?”

“Fine by me.”

And they headed to join Adrien in the dining hall.

* * *

It was nothing grand. There was no cake. No confetti or colorful decorations, just the usual dining hall. It was the usual chef-cooked lunch but with his Father actually present. The _soupe à l'oignon gratinée _tasted more scrumptious than usual with another person actually in the table. And although Adrien felt the urge to invite Nathalie to join them, he let the woman stand by the table and watch them eat as usual.

The birthday lunch went by with little talking. The Father and son had a talk about how school went. How friends were. How classes went. How modelling went. And yet how his Father managed to turn such normalcy into a tedious interview-like nightmare was beyond him. Even so, he appreciated his presence.

Adrien was about to leave the table after polite excusal when his Father stopped him.

“Sit down, Adrien.”

And he did as told. What he didn’t expect was his Father signaling Nathalie to produce a gift from behind her. He had noticed the woman had disappeared for a moment during lunch but he actually thought she was visiting the ladies’ room.

Nathalie approached him and handed him the gift, just a little bigger than an open palm, wrapped in white paper with gold glitters and tied with golden ribbon. Adrien believed his jaw was hanging all the way Nathalie walked towards him, his eyes fixated on the gift.

When the gift was placed on where his _soupe à l'oignon gratinée _used to be, Adrien still couldn’t believe it.

“Is this from you, Father?” He looked at the man with a face of pure happiness and disbelief. “For me?”

Nathalie was the one who ordered it specifically and in truth, Gabriel had no idea where she got it from, but Adrien didn’t need to know. Gabriel nodded at his son.

In excitement, Adrien started unwrapping the gift paper, putting extra care as to not ruin it so he could fold it again later and keep it in his drawer. There was a white box inside and he swore he almost jumped when he saw what was inside. It was a sky blue beanie hat that looked hand-knitted. “It’s a matching set with my scarf!” he exclaimed, jumping in his seat a bit. “Thank you, Father!”

Gabriel nodded and showed his son a small smile. “Happy birthday, Adrien.”

Adrien was smiling so widely and his eyes were misty from the happiness overload. He got up from his seat and threw his Father a hug, ignoring how tensed he made the man feel. He was thankful that his Father patted his back a couple of times before he let go.

Before Adrien could even think of going back to school, Nathalie approached him with a smaller gift, an envelope of some sort, simply white and wax-stamped with the Agreste family crest. “From me, Adrien.”

Adrien’s eyes widened as well as his smile. “What? No way. You too, Nathalie?”

She nodded. “Happy birthday, Adrien.”

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this.” He took the envelope from her before engulfing her into a hug, too. “Thank you so much, Nathalie!”

Adrien was absolutely electrified when he saw the four Jagged Stone concert tickets for the weekend, produced from the envelope. He involuntarily gasped. It took him so much convincing to his Father last time he went to a concert and he was not allowed to go out with his friends for another month after that. Going to a concert was easily in the top three in the list of grounded-afterwards.

“Am I really allowed to go?” Adrien asked, then snapped his head at his Father, who looked relunctant but hummed in affirmation anyway.

“And you are not grounded after the concert,” Nathalie added. Adrien nearly wanted to cry and hug her again right there and then but he had school to go back to in ten minutes so he held back.

“I’ll tell my friends about it. They’re going to be so excited! I mean, Marinette _loves _Jagged Stone!” he exclaimed, the last one more to himself.

Adrien fussed over his birthday presents for another five minutes before he really had to return to school. He placed the beanie hat in his room and held the concert tickets tightly in his hand when he ran out again. Before going out of the house, he gave both adults a quick peck on the cheek then bid them goodbye.

“Congratulations, sir, you’ve received your kiss,” Nathalie said when the boy was gone.

Gabriel only scowled at her. “Now, I think the man who lost his job and custody to his daughter is still upset about it. Shall we go?” he offered.

“Right after you, sir.”

* * *

Eyes.

Coal-black eyes.

Nathalie held her breath. The peacock-like god and her seemed to have switched sizes. She felt small and insignificant under her piercing gaze. The kwami’s mouth opened to mutter something but all Nathalie could hear was a combination of voices and screaming. She could barely make out what the voices were saying.

Sometimes it was, _“Come back.”_

Sometimes it was, _“Don’t leave.”_

Sometimes it was, _“I need you.”_

Sometimes it was, _“You need me.”_

And then they were died out in the end by horrifying screaming and wailing.

Sometimes flashes of images came and went. The wide sky. Green fields. Mountains. Fog. Houses on a slope. All of them places she had never seen or been to before.

Then, screaming. More screaming. Pleas to stop.

She suddenly couldn’t tell if it was Duuusu or herself who was screaming and begging someone to stop. Who? Stop what?

“Nathalie,” Gabriel’s voice pulled her out of her trance.

She snapped her head up to look at him. She was sitting on the couch with him kneeling before her, shooting her with a concerned look. Before she could think of saying anything, memories started rushing back. They had just been in the lair a second ago, controlling an Akuma and his Protector from the distance. At least she felt like it was a second ago. Nathalie remembered up to when Ladybug returned with an ally, Rena Rouge, to back the superheroes up. After that, everything was a blur.

“You collapsed before we concluded the battle,” Gabriel said, as if continuing her halted memory. “I should not have forced you today. You have not fully recovered.” He held her hand so gently she could barely feel his skin.

She was trying to compose herself enough to say something in return, but the words were caught in her throat and she broke into a coughing fit. A real one, this time.

“Don’t force yourself to talk. Please, take more rest.”

Nathalie nodded, then froze. Her eyes widened and her breath hitched. Behind Gabriel, she saw an existence that wasn’t supposed to be there. It stood no taller than Gabriel’s full height. The man didn’t seem to realize it was there, so it must be a hallucination. Yet she couldn’t tear her eyes off it.

Emilie Agreste was smiling from ear to ear at her, all in her pure white dress and blonde curls by one side of her neck, mouthing something that she couldn’t exactly make out. Her green eyes shone but soon she felt like they were black. It was a repetition of green and black blinks like they were broken Christmas lights.

“Nathalie? Are you in pain?” Gabriel asked, pushing himself up so he could lean closer to her.

Seeing his sudden movement, Nathalie involuntarily gasped and reacted by slapping his hand off hers and knocking him off with every single one of her limbs, making him tumble off, landing on his bottom and hitting his head against the corner of a wooden table. Only when he moaned in pain did it boil down to Nathalie what she had just done.

_Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me_, the voice in her head howled. She ignored it and tried to get up to attend to her boss that she had literally just sent flying to the other side of the room.

“Sir—” the rest of her sentence died out in her throat when something else came out. It started as a choke. Then she found herself sitting on the floor not far before Gabriel, fighting off the growing whine originating from deep within her.

She rammed a hand against her mouth and shrunk, hoping it could stop the whine that had gradually rose into something no adult should be heard doing. But as though she was riding a hole-infested boat with dozens of holes and only two hands to cover them, something else oozed out when she was concentrating on keeping her voice down. Her eyes were wet. It felt so foreign because she had never cried so freely her whole life.

“Oh, dear Lord. Nathalie, are you alright?” Gabriel asked, crawling closer despite having one of his hands still massaging the back of his head that met the table. His heartbeat involuntarily accelerated when a certain god’s cry resonated in his head.

Nathalie wasn’t confident that nodding while whimpering and having her face drenched with raw tears would convince even a baby that she was alright. She didn’t want to nod or shake her head. _Cry. Cry. Cry, _the voice in her head commanded, and it was impossible to fight.

When Gabriel cradled her in his arms, she was basically bawling. “I… I—” She felt so trapped. She wasn’t even sad or frustrated. It was like something forced her to cry and she was unable to struggle free from the command. Like a marionette that couldn’t snap off its own strings to break free, she was merely dancing under her puppetmaster’s will. It was mentally draining.

Adrien descended the stairs, wondering what sound it was, but stopped when he saw his Father and Nathalie beside the staircase. He felt a pang in his heart when he made out her heartbreaking wails. He had never seen Nathalie so vulnerable and broken because she had always been a duty-bound, independent woman. When she shook his hand professionally on their first meeting when he was only ten. When she refused his hug because she was having the flu. When she stayed unfazed after his Father’s stress meltdown from designs done wrong. Controlling her emotions had always been one of her best features.

Adrien caught his Father’s attention when he slowly and quietly descended the stairs to approach them. However, the man shot him a look and shook his head. Adrien complied and ascended back to his own room with a heavy heart.

* * *

That night, Gabriel descended to his lair to have a talk with his kwami.

“Nooroo, what actually happened to the Peacock kwami?” he asked, straight to the point. Nathalie just now was basically the perfect impersonation of Duusu’s haunting cry that he knew so well and he wouldn’t believe anyone who tried to convince him that her meltdown wasn’t related to that accursed kwami.

Nooroo fidgeted, his wings drooping. “Master, I…”

“I _know_ she is different.” Gabriel asserted again, hating the hesitation his kwami displayed. “She can’t be normal. Not like that.”

Nooroo shrunk under Gabriel’s tone and the man felt a little remorseful. He didn’t hate the little kwami, but whenever he looked at Nooroo, he was reminded of the other kwami who started all their current predicament. Having never met any other kwamis beside the two, Gabriel’s impression of the little gods heavily relied on those he had met. Duusuu had left a stronger one.

“Forgive me for my outburst,” he said and the purple kwami looked up at him again with hopeful eyes. Yet all he saw was the coal-black eyes Duusu showed him earlier today when Nathalie was about to transform. He tried to ignore the growing dread in his stomach. “I will appreciate it if you could give me a couple of leads. Facts I need to make decisions in the future in regards of Mayura,” he said, trying to convince his kwami with a more rational way.

Nooroo looked convinced and decided to tell the story, albeit reluctantly. “Duusu, she… she works with emotions,” he started, “Out of all kwamis, one could even say she has the most sensitive heart; a sweet little one. She also affects people’s emotions, especially her user’s. Back when she wasn’t this way, her power brought forth so much peace and happiness.”

Nooroo reminisced the blue kwami who drew everyone in with her radiance. How she would burst with joy and shared the emotion with their brothers and sisters in the Miracle Box. When she was happy, everybody was, too.

Gabriel raised a brow, unable to believe that it was the same kwami that haunted his wife’s dreams for years and left such huge, dark mark on his own soul. “So, what changed?” he inquired.

Nooroo’s face darkened. “Both of us were stolen, separated from the other kwamis and the Guardian,” he said. “It is vital for the Miraculouses to be guarded by at least one Guardian, because us kwamis have very limited knowledge of our own biology and therefore cannot heal ourselves when we’re down with illness or know how to power up.”

Gabriel nodded, catching on the logic. “Continue.”

Fiddling with his paws, Nooroo then added, “These people who stole us… performed some sort of observation on us.”

Raising a brow, Gabriel echoed, “Observation?”

Nooroo nodded. “As you must already know, Master, both me and Duusu’s power involve requiring a host to apply our powers to, unlike other kwamis’. I have no proof to say this but… I believe our kidnappers knew it beforehand and specifically stole us.”

“Nooroo, what are you trying to imply?”

There was pure fear in the kwami’s voice as he hugged his little body. “They… they used our powers against each other, controlling each other, to learn the limit.” His eyes looked like he was seeing the experience replayed before him. “It appeared Duusu’s Miraculous had been a bit damaged when it was stolen, but the experiment broke her further.”

Gabriel suddenly remembered Tibet. When he first found the jewelries that changed his life forever. When his younger, more gullible self thought they were the most exquisite and unique thing he’d ever seen and that he needed to have them. When his wife insisted they bought the brooches as souvenirs. When he complied because he, too, was entranced by their beauty. Oh, how much easier would life have been if they never went to that life-changing Tibet trip.

“What can we do to fix her?” Gabriel asked, returning to the present.

“We can’t,” Nooroo said with a level of confidence that never existed in him before. “We have to take her to a Guardian. He will know how to fix the Miraculous, and only then can Duusu be healed.”

* * *

Adrien was nibbling on his plain croissant and cheese while telling Nathalie about how excited Marinette was for the Jagged Stone concert this weekend when Gabriel stormed into the room, looking around shortly before he stopped.

“Nathalie,” he called.

“Yes, sir?”

“Come with me. I have something to discuss with you.”

Nathalie casted a look at Adrien who returned it with a shrug. “Understood, sir,” she said, leaving the boy to eat his lunch alone.

Gabriel walked out of the dining room across the main hall and into his office. Nathalie following religiously behind him. “We are having some rearrangements,” he said once the door was closed.

“On the spring line?”

“On our _other_ particular activity.”

“Oh, that.” There was a mild surprise in Nathalie’s face and she lowered her voice as though somebody could hear them. “What do you have in mind?”

Gabriel hummed. “We shall reduce the frequency for now because another priority to pursue has emerged.”

“And that is?” Nathalie pushed.

“I can’t tell you now. Let’s just say I have your well-being in mind.”

Nathalie’s lips twisted in dissatisfaction. “Am I supposed to just shut up and be flattered?”

Gabriel frowned when he picked up on something. “Casually dropping the “sir” now, are we?” Nathalie seemed to only realize, as she had her both her brows raised. “I may let you take the lead in our other activity but here at work, I am still your boss. Do not let it get over your head.”

“Of course.” Nathalie put a deliberate long pause before adding, “Sir.”

Little did they know that Adrien had been eavesdropping on their conversation from behind the door, gawking at what he was hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrien needs to learn to respect privacy. Now he's going to see nightmares for days to come. Rip.


	4. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emilie is a little obsessed. Adrien is growing bitter. Gabriel sucks at showing affection. And Nathalie is mildly confused. 
> 
> Basically the everyday life of the Agreste house.

It was four years ago.

Emilie stared at the embarrassingly huge painting of herself in her husband’s office. There was nobody in the house at the moment. Gabriel was in his office at the Agreste HQ, pushing limits to make a deadline. Adrien was attending his friend Chloe’s piano recital and wouldn’t be back before nightfall as the girl had insisted he joined her family for dinner after.

Swiftly punching the combination to the safe hidden behind the painting, Emilie sighed in content when she saw the brooch displayed beside a Tibet guidebook.

“Hello again, my love,” she said when the tip of her fingers brushed the metallic surface of the brooch.

It was not her first time doing this. And by _this_, she meant using the Miraculous behind her family’s back. For the past two supposedly-clean years, she could say she had used it at least five times when there was absolutely nobody home. The fact that Adrien was homeschooled hindered her from sneaking in more uses, but she managed some nonetheless.

She felt the wave of euphoria rushing through her when she clipped the brooch onto her white blazer, just above her right chest. When the little god emerged before her, she smiled and used two of her fingers to brush the top of her head.

Duusu stared at her user with wide, dark eyes that seemed bottomless.

_You’re back. You’re back. You’re back. I miss you. Don’t leave again. I miss you, _the kwami seemed to be saying.

“Me too,” Emilie whispered before she was engulfed in blue light, and then she was Mayura.

Mayura smiled. She was excited to meet her Protector again after months. She didn’t know what made her so excited. Her Protector couldn’t speak. They would spend all the time they had in silence before Emilie had to detransform again. Perhaps it was because the creature originated from herself that she felt such powerful emotional attachment to it. She remembered feeling the same when Adrien was just born. When she couldn’t get enough of the beautiful baby boy that some nights she found herself just looking at his sleeping figure, hoping he would show her those eyes of gorgeous green. She couldn’t remember how many I-love-yous she had whispered to him. Because he was a part of her.

Her Protector wasn’t lovely like Adrien. It wasn’t cheery and smiley. It wasn’t hugging her and calling her mom. It wasn’t a little boy with the brightest eyes.

Her Protector started out as a ghostly apparition that resembled a mythical creature, so out of the world. However, after summoning it for six times, Emilie couldn’t help but notice how it gradually lost its fowl-like features and turned disturbingly human. The last time she summoned it, it wasn’t astral anymore. It couldn’t go through walls. It couldn’t fly. It couldn’t glow.

Emilie was thrilled to see how it had turned out this time. Excitement blossomed as she plucked out a feather and worked her magic.

Green eyes widened when a creature that looked unmistakingly human emerged, curled up on the floor like it was just born from inside a capsule. A female. Her night dark locks fell to her bare shoulders of milky white skin. When she looked up at Mayura, the latter could spot two of the most beautiful sky blue eyes.

Mayura took a sharp inhale. “You are beautiful,” she murmured in awe, bending over so she was closer to the other _woman_’s level, hand fan held gracefully against her chest. “Hello,” she tried in her friendliest voice. Maybe now, her Protector could speak. Because she undoubtedly looked intelligent enough to do so.

Alas, her Protector only stared.

Mayura spent her time either trying to get the woman to talk, or admiring her, showering her with praises that she wasn’t sure the latter understood. At one point, she grabbed one of her dresses for the woman. She wasn’t sure what would happen to the dress once her Protector was renounced, but she was not quite enjoying the notion that she let a naked woman wander around her house.

Mayura decided to have a coffee time with her Protector and was appalled when the latter preferred black coffee. The only person she knew who actually preferred that abomination over milky goodness was her husband. And during the short two hours she spent with her Protector, she realized that the blue-eyed woman resembled her husband more than herself. How she would stand so painfully straight. How cold her gaze was. How she would huff when she didn’t like something. How she proactively arranged objects based on sizes, colors, or numbers. Perhaps because she was born out of Emilie’s love, and Emilie’s love was her husband.

At sundown, she could hear Gabriel’s car pull over the front yard and decided it was time to say goodbye to her Protector again. Like every other goodbye, it was hard. Her heart felt a strong longing for her other half—if she might call her that.

Regardless of how hard the goodbye was, she couldn’t rejoice when her Protector still stood before her when she dropped her transformation. And her shock was only escalated when she removed the brooch and locked it behind the safe yet the dark-haired woman was still there, solid and existing.

“Oh, no…” she mumbled, realizing the weight of her mistake this time.

When Gabriel entered the house and saw her companion and asked, “Who is this, Emilie?” the blonde conjured up the most elaborated string of spontaneous lies she didn’t know she was capable of making.

Surely, using a named derived from her favorite holiday of the year wouldn’t give her away, would it?

* * *

Adrien grabbed a drink and stayed close to Marinette, who was about to faint because a renowned designer just praised her work, but was hanging on because collapsing under a praise was not exactly the first impression she was aiming to make.

It was the gala dinner held by Gabriel Agreste to introduce his newest spring line collection. The man in question was entertaining a couple of new investors, with a drink in hand and the fakest of smile on his face. Adrien’s gaze travelled to one of the corners of the room to spot Nathalie. She was still dressed in a suit, although it looked a bit fancier and more fitting for a high-class social event. With one of her hands holding her tab, her eyes observed the whole room from her spot like a CCTV. It was her job to make sure the event went smoothly.

Just a few weeks ago, Adrien had overheard a conversation between his Father and Nathalie that he still couldn’t quite fathom to this day. After that day, he found himself observing them more than usual, his gaze following them from his peripheral vision. Every time they excused themselves, he would try to follow them, but for some reason there would always be an Akuma attack that followed, hindering him from finding out more about what they were doing behind his back.

“Oh my gosh,” Marinette’s voice snapped him out of his trance. He smiled at his classmate who looked beautiful in her red, knee-length dress that reminded him of another girl who looked stunning in red. “I still can’t believe you actually invited me to your Father’s spring line introduction event, Adrien. I can’t begin to describe how thankful I am that you gave me the opportunity to meet so many amazing people tonight!”

“Well, you seem to be interested in fashion.” Adrien winked. “And I figured it would be more fun with you around. This kind of event gets tedious fast.”

Marinette seemed to suddenly lost the ability to speak. Her cheeks were burning red under the abundant light in the hall. “I, uh, I’m ho-honored? That you think I’m fun to have around?” she stammered, looking at her drink like it held the solution to world poverty.

Adrien was about to say something when his eyes spotted his Father approaching Nathalie at the corner of the room and whispering something to her. He couldn’t believe his eyes when both of them went and disappeared behind the emergency door.

That was _it._

By the time his Father was back from the emergency door alone sometime later, Marinette was talking with another designer, looking more comfortable this time. Adrien took the opportunity to leave his friend and approached his Father.

“Where have you been, Father?” he asked, trying to slap in as much venom in his voice as possible. Nino always said he couldn’t pull it off, though. But that was beside the point. “I thought the host should always be present. You were gone for quite a while there.”

His Father looked genuinely surprised by the question. “I was… in the men’s room.”

“With Nathalie?” Adrien pushed, eyeing his Father with obvious suspicion.

Gabriel raised a brow. “No? She certainly does not look masculine enough for those in the men’s room to simply allow her in without questions, does she?”

Confusion was written all over his face when Adrien hung his jaw open. “What? No! I mean, where is Nathalie now? I saw you guys disappear behind the emergency door together and now you’re back alone.”

“She did not look well, so I allowed her to excuse herself early tonight. We were calling a backup to take over her job for tonight and I sent her off in a taxi before going to the men’s room then coming back here,” Gabriel explained flawlessly. “I hope you are going somewhere with this accusing interrogation, son.”

Adrien bit his lip and frowned. Still not convinced but couldn’t think of a smart retort to dig further. “I’m not,” he spilled out. “I’m sorry I took your time.”

“Very well, now please excuse me as I have a couple of investors to please.” Gabriel gave his son the slightest bow before taking off.

Adrien twisted his lips. “Of course.”

* * *

Gabriel hurled a thick, hard-covered book against the floor with all his might, producing a loud bang, and Nathalie flinched. She was standing in front of him, looking down like a child being scolded by her parents.

It was one week after the gala. Just half an hour ago, the two of them were in the lair, controlling today’s Akuma and his Protector in synch. Halfway through the battle, Mayura had started coughing. At some point of their alliance, Nathalie had promised Gabriel that they would stop once she showed signs of deteriorating health, but the battle looked very promising for them that she didn’t want to let it go. She was barely standing but despite Hawkmoth’s command-turned-plea to stop, she held on. She was genuinely perplexed when he snatched her Miraculous off her dress and force-shut her transformation.

He was hollering at her when they detransformed, all the way from the lair to his office.

“I apologize,” she mumbled in remorse.

“I can’t look at you right now,” he said in suppressed rage, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, then placed the Peacock Miraculous inside his blazer’s pocket before fast-walking out of his office.

She let out a heavy sigh. Maybe she shouldn’t have done that. But in all fairness, she had no idea he would react to such extent. A little scolding then a thank you was what she had in mind.

She was about to return to her desk and wait for his temper to cool down when the door opened again. She turned around almost immediately, hoping it was her boss. But it was Adrien.

“Are you guys fighting?” the boy asked carefully.

Nathalie’s shoulders drooped slightly. “I wouldn’t call it fighting. But we certainly are not on friendly terms at the moment. It will likely pass soon, so don’t concern yourself with it.”

Adrien nodded and Nathalie made a move to walk back to her desk. “Are you dating my Father?” he asked again, now standing just three steps away from her.

Her brain stopped functioning for a couple of seconds and she nearly missed a step. She turned to face the boy again. “…I’m sorry?” she asked, needing to make sure she wasn’t hearing things.

“Are you and my Father in a romantic relationship?” He rephrased.

Nathalie was now blinking rapidly, her mouth gaping. The more he elaborated on it, the more alien it sounded in her ears. French suddenly sounded like the sub-genre of Venusian language. What in the world made him ask? Gabriel? Impossible. But why would he ask such question on his own accord? Was it how they acted towards each other since the alliance? She was confident they still acted professional despite their reversed role in the lair. Okay, maybe she let some habits in the lair slip; like accidentally correcting him without adding “sir”, or using her tab to lightly smack the side of his head when she thought he was being silly or extra (she used her fan to do it in the lair but her tab came closest in real life).

Oh no, they did look a bit too chummy, didn’t they?

Nathalie composed herself and started arranging words in her head. “Would anybody in a romantic relationship be yelling at the other then storm out of the room in boiling rage, Adrien?” she asked, trying to help the boy regain his common sense.

The blond shrugged. His growing suspicion and witnessing strange activities for the past month was not about to just magically disappear with one question. “He looked really sad instead of mad. He’s even making latte. He only does that when he’s sad.”

_You’re kidding me,_ Nathalie wanted to say but held back. A flipping latte? He must be really upset.

Adrien awkwardly scratched the side of his head. Nathalie waited until he decided to say, “Just to get it out there, Nathalie. Let’s say you guys _are _dating. I want you to know that I’m not against it or anything, but I would appreciate it if you guys would be honest instead of going behind my back. I feel kind of betrayed.”

If she could, Nathalie would laugh at how innocent the boy sounded. She wondered if he thought her effort of trying to get closer to him recently was to get to his Father. “Our relationship does not go beyond professional, Adrien. Trust me. Why would I lie to you?” To be fair, she did lie a bit because their relationship went to “supervillain alliance” as well but that was a secret he could live without knowing.

Adrien crossed his arms and harmlessly frowned. “Well, I can think of some reasons over the top of my head: you think I’m not ready for a new mother figure; you think I’d hate the idea that you’re going to be around even more, which I really don’t. And what else? You think I’d throw a tantrum to try to separate you and my dad like some bratty, possessive son?”

She was utterly speechless. Mainly because of how the conversation was straying farther and farther from reality but also because of how mature Adrien was at taking everything in. If Gabriel ever found someone, he would have the easiest time because his son would be so supportive. But that person wasn’t her and she had a personal mission to fix the misunderstanding that soon would be spiraling out of control if she didn’t immediately return it to the right track.

“I just want the truth, Nathalie,” Adrien practically begged.

And the truth she shall give him. “No, Adrien. No, your Father and I are not in any kind of relationship you’re imagining. Your Father is the utmost loyal man who still loves your Mother strongly. You can rest assured.” Now, he could give his wild imaginations a rest.

“Oh…” he mumbled, shoulders visibly drooping. Not the kind of reaction she was hoping for, if you’d ask her. “Is that so? Alright, then.”

Nathalie watched as the boy’s expression shifted. He was chuckling awkwardly for a few seconds and then it quickly melted into silent tears. The sudden waterworks immediately alarmed her. “Adrien, are you okay?” she asked, hands instinctively going to his shoulders.

He was looking down, ashamed of being seen crying.

“I don’t know,” he choked out, swallowing the sobs. “I don’t know when it started but I’m seeing my mom in you.” Nathalie swallowed. “I love you so much, sometimes I wish you would be there every waking hour just to listen to me and talk to me. To hug me and tell me you love me. It feels right.”

“Adrien, I…” she trailed off. “You…” What did she want to say again?

“I know,” he said after a while, already starting to calm down. “I’m being unreasonable. I don’t want to force you into something you’d hate, either. I’m really sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.” He held both her hands with his and squeezed them in reassurance, then he smiled. “Can we forget about what happened here today?”

“Of course.” She nodded, albeit reluctantly. “If that’s what you want.”

Adrien nodded and hugged her. “I love you.”

_Me, too, Adrien,_ she didn’t say but returned his hug. _Me, too._

* * *

Nathalie looked at the ceiling of her apartment room. Its pure white span allowed her mind to be at peace. She started thinking back about what Adrien had confessed earlier today. And when she closed her eyes, she didn’t see those bottomless black eyes. Or dreadful whispers of desperate pleas. All she could hear was a baby’s coos and its adorable little laughter. She brought her hands into the air and pretended she was holding a little person in her arms. Then she could feel the warmth of the baby’s breath against her chest.

_My baby, my love. I love you so much, _the voice in her head said. _I’m always with you. _Or was it her own? She couldn’t tell.

With her eyes still closed, she raised both hands in the air and pretended she was cupping a face. A perfectly rugged face. A smooth jawline. His dark blue eyes staring down at her like she was the most precious thing. The smile on his face tingled the inside of her chest. His whispers of love almost sounded too real in her ears. Maybe they were. But they weren’t for her.

When she opened her eyes, she jumped. There he was, staring down at her with such loving eyes. Tender, kind, and affectionate. He took a seat beside her, and held her hand. Then a little boy ran up to them, smiling with a toothy grin. He snuggled up between them and giggled.

Nathalie smiled yet she was crestfallen. Because it wasn’t real. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, she was alone again in the empty apartment room. She looked at the clock that showed 11:47 pm. Maybe it’s time to hit the sack.

She was just getting up from the couch when she heard a chiming sound. It took her a while to realize that it was her doorbell. Nobody had ever visited her flat before and therefore she had no idea her doorbell sounded like that.

Unsurely, she approached the front door. Who was it at this time of the night? One look at the peephole and she was flabbergasted.

She opened the door in a hurry, scanning the man from head to toe. She had only noticed the absence of her glasses; she had placed it on the living table. To ensure it was not an image shown by lack of rest and late night hour, she slapped herself on the cheek, startling the man before her. “Mister Agreste?” she asked when he was still standing there. In the name of the Miraculous, _how_?

He nodded and casually strolled in like he owned the place. “I have spent all day thinking,” he started, standing in the hallway before her while her brain still running the remaining common sense over.

He looked directly into her eyes and she couldn’t help the growing anxiety that started in the pits of her stomach. Anything he thought over latte couldn’t be good. “About what, sir?” she asked carefully.

“About us.” His eyes didn’t leave hers.

Nathalie held her breath. “Our alliance?” she asked. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Our situation.”

“Can you elaborate?”

He nodded. “Can you remember this?” he asked, then gently placed a hand against her left cheek. She shuddered at the coldness of his skin against hers.

She was having a hard time looking at his eyes. Her eyes darted around. The sensation was overly familiar. “No,” she breathed out. It was so hard to breathe. Not with the voices in her head getting louder.

“Very well,” he said, but didn’t remove his hand, much to her chagrin. “Can you remember this?” he asked again, and when her eyes moved to meet his, she was taken aback by how close he was. And before she could tell what’s going on, both his hands were on her cheeks and his lips were against hers.

Nathalie tensed up in an instant, her fingers froze and her eyes wide open on the contrary to Gabriel’s closed ones. It was just a very brief lip-brushing that could barely be called a kiss, but her head was ringing and her heart was about to burst out of her ribcage.

“Wha—” she gaped in utter disbelief when he retreated. What just happened?

“I have been having second thoughts for a while now,” he said. And before she could ask, he continued, “About obtaining Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses. About saving Emilie. The price seems to overweight the gains now. I am putting your life on the line. For what? I believed I should bring back my wife so my son could have a mother again. So my family would be whole again. But is harming the entire city, chasing two innocent teenagers, and sacrificing your life worth what I wish for?”

Nathalie blinked, recovering from shock. “And you decided ringing my doorbell in the middle of the night and smothering me with questionable gestures of affection and philosophical queries is the answer?” Nathalie asked in pure disbelief and a tint of ire. “Should I still add “sir” in this situation?” she sarcastically added despite her rising voice.

He didn’t look perturbed in the slightest with his usual posture, hands behind him. “I have no intentions of forcing you into something you do not wish for,” he reassured but it did not affect her. Her mind was still loud. “But I would greatly appreciate it if you took my proposal into consideration.”

“What proposal?” she challenged.

“Ever since Emilie… was incapacitated, you have been by my side. You have been nothing but loyal to me. You have been there for my son. I would be lying if I said I harbored no feelings towards you,” he confessed, not losing an ounce of his composure one might question if he was being genuine. “In the past few months of working together as Hawkmoth and Mayura, I realized the weight of your existence in my life. My heart, if you would. It has arrived to a point where I can no longer bear seeing you hurt without feeling like somebody ripped it apart.”

Nathalie listened to him quietly, still trying to wrap her head around the bombardment of new facts. His voice was unchanging, but if anyone could tell he was being genuine, it was her.

She rested her back against the wall because she promptly felt lightheaded. Yet it didn’t stop him from continuing.

“I wish to pursue something else with you, Nathalie. Something that would serve as the push I need to put Emilie behind me. And that is only if you have no qualms about it.”

Nathalie was absolutely mortified. The inside of her head was mush and her stomach was a blender. She could throw up any second now. Was this _really _not just some hallucination her mind conjured up as usual? The Gabriel Agreste she knew—her boss—was the most loyal husband she had ever met. Not the best Father around, but was everything anyone wanted in a husband. It simply didn’t make sense that he would abandon his wife for her; his wife’s inferior duplicate.

“Have you perhaps forgotten about my origin?” she decided to ask because he seemed to have been blatantly ignoring that certain elephant in the room.

“It does not bother me,” he simply said.

Except it wasn’t the matter of whether he was bothered. “I am an anomaly,” Nathalie reminded. “A mistake in the system. I might disappear tomorrow, return to where I came from, and we can’t even be sure.”

He answered almost immediately that it gave her the impression that he had rehearsed it at home, “You have constantly existed for four years, almost five now. Independently from Emilie. I do not wish to regret my choice by giving up on our potential based on such indefinite factor.”

As expected of a businessman, his argument was flawless. It seemed that the latte did nothing to impair his debate skills. But Nathalie was not an oblivious schoolgirl with naïve view of life and relationship, either.

“You promised the Madame to save her,” she reminded. “I only exist to help you. You know I will follow you forever for that purpose,” she announced the obvious aloud and he nodded in agreement. “But not like this,” she added in desperate plea that he could somehow wrap his mind around her logic.

To her dismay, the determined look on his face still stayed and she could tell even without her glasses. “Nathalie.” He took her hand in a firm hold. “Do you have feelings for me? That is the only thing I need to know.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and let out an exasperated sigh. Why did he have to ask such question? She had been so loyal to him for years. She would give up her life in a heartbeat if it meant he could get what he wished for. She would rip her heart out and stomp on it if it meant he would be happy. She knew that. He knew that. As the owner of the Miraculous of empathy, he sensed emotion. Was that really a question he needed to ask?

“I do,” she said, determined. “I do, sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Gabriel has finally made the right decision. Or did he?


	5. Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Adrien-Nathalie bonding for your thriving corps. Some Ladynoir (finally). Some GabeNath. And finally, for finishing, the must-have dose of tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art in this chapter was drawn by @beccels_nerdy_world on IG and colored by me (@yukifrill on IG) :)

Adrien was ten when he first met the woman named Nathalie Sanceour.

He had just got back from a dinner with the Bourgeois, still wearing the little black suit and green tie his mom had helped him wear earlier that day. The sky was already dark when he stepped into his home, so he didn’t expect the additional presence.

“Your Father is chasing deadline so let’s not bother him, okay, sweetie?” his mom had told him when he took a peek into his Father’s home office, guiding him away from the room where his Father and the unknown woman were.

He was in his room with his Mother after washing up and changing into pajamas. And not to forget their usual tradition: brushing teeth together while humming a cartoon’s theme song. They were cuddling under the warmth of his comforter, both of them facing the glass walls. The Eiffel Tower glowed orange in the sea of black sky. But little Adrien had a better thing to look at: the pop-up picture book his Mother was reading to him. She loved the arts and crafts and would often make toys for him from scratch or had him make them with her because she’d read somewhere that it encouraged creative thinking. Among those, she enjoyed making pop-up picture books the most. He had dozens of picture books that his Mother made, piling up over the years, mingled among other ones that were store-bought.

Tonight’s story was the newest one she’d made. It told the story of a boy who lost his Mother but her spirit continued to watch over him as he grew up into a man. The idea of losing a mother mildly frightened him that he found himself wiping the crayon-drawn tears on the boy’s face, but it was an enjoyable story overall. The ending was especially tear-jerking, when the boy-turned-man saw his Mother’s spirit just before she moved on to the afterlife.

He was already nodding off against his Mother’s warmth when somebody knocked on the door. It was his Father and the woman again. His Mother left the bed and him to greet them with a smile and they started having an adult conversation he couldn’t fully hear or understand.

“Our work is done,” his Father had informed. “She truly learns fast and our dynamic is satisfactory so far. I might consider hiring her permanently.”

Over the corner of his sleepy eyes, Adrien could see his Mother nodding in fulfillment. “What did I tell you? She’s like a skill _sponge_. She absorbs everything.”

Gabriel nodded in mild agreement. “Although she did mention peculiar things.”

“Oh, did she?” his Mother sounded a little alarmed. “Maybe it’s the cultural difference.”

“I think she spoke perfect French when she mentioned _peacock _and _Miraculous _and _protector_.”

“Oh…”

“We need to talk, Emilie.”

His Mother stole a glance at him. “I guess we do,” she said in small voice before continuing with a louder one, facing him, “Stay here with Nathalie, honey. Mom and dad will be back soon to kiss you good night, okay?”

He rubbed his eyes and yawned. “Okay.”

His Father gave a mild look of dismay as he always disagreed with leaving his son with a stranger but his Mother reassured him by whispering, “If there’s anyone you could trust Adrien with, it’s her.”

When they left, Adrien’s eyes began to dart around as he stayed awkwardly on the bed, only to realize how rude he must look sitting when his guest was standing up. He jumped off the bed, shaking the remaining sleepiness away, and approached the woman.

“Hello,” he politely greeted.

The woman, Nathalie, only nodded at him before taking his hand into a firm handshake that reminded him of the one Chloe’s dad gave him one time just to tease him, saying it was how politicians shake hands.

Adrien wondered if she was teasing him, too, but decided to smile anyway because his Mother told him it was polite to do so. “My name’s Adrien,” he said.

To his relief, she answered, “I’m Nathalie.”

“Just Nathalie?”

“I believe so.”

The woman was strange, but Adrien knew better than to judge someone so quickly. He took Nathalie’s hand and guided her to the couch in his room. “Come sit here while we wait for my parents, Miss Nathalie.”

They both sat on the couch and Nathalie seemed to find the Eiffel Tower fascinating because she never tore her eyes off the famous landmark. Adrien swung his legs over the edge of the couch and watched the lights reflected in her eyes, reminding him of the little kitty he wished he could take home back when he and Chloe visited the pet shop on Easter. It had the most beautiful blue eyes.

“Do you like picture books?” Adrien asked, trying to start a conversation because the silence unsettled him.

“What are those?” Nathalie asked back and Adrien’s jaw hung loose. What kind of person didn’t know picture books? Adrien’s heart dropped at the thought of what kind of childhood the woman went through.

“They’re these colorful books full of pictures and they tell amazing stories,” he started to describe, using his hand gestures to help with the visual. “Hold on, I’ll go get one!”

Adrien rushed to his bookshelf and immediately found the one he was looking for. It was the picture book his Mother made out of his story about the Christmas spirit that led him home two years prior. His Mother had almost perfectly replicated the spirit’s form based on what he remembered. It was hands down his favorite picture book in the world. His Mother even drew the boy to be so much like him.

When he returned to the couch, he jumped sideways so he was facing Nathalie when he landed. She cocked her head to the side when she noticed the book that was bigger than Adrien’s head.

“This one’s my favorite.” He bumped his shoulder against the woman’s and showed her the cover of the book.

It was a little boy crouching in the snow. Beside him was a creature much taller than average man, white and almost translucent. It had the feet of a bird and arms that extended into wings, one of which was one circling the boy to keep the snow from landing on him. Snow was piled up on that one particular wing. Nathalie was captivated. “I met this kind Christmas spirit when I was eight and my mom made a picture book out of it,” Adrien explained. “She’s the best!”

“Do you like her?” Nathalie asked.

“My mom? Of course! I love her!”

“No,” she said, shaking her head then landing a finger on the cover of the book. “Her.”

“The Christmas spirit?”

Nathalie nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, then lowered his head. “I wanna meet her again. Even more than Santa.”

Nathalie smiled and Adrien’s face lit up when she did. His legs swung over the edge of the couch in pure excitement.

“So, you wanna read the story?” he asked.

When Nathalie nodded, Adrien opened the book and started imitating how his Mother usually read the story for him. It was his first time to be the storyteller, but surely he must have done well because Nathalie was smiling all the while.

* * *

Chat Noir’s cat ears perked when his Lady landed beside him on top of the Eiffel Tower. Smiling up at her, he then jumped to his feet and as usual, bowed dramatically and kissed the back of her palm as a form of greeting.

“No Akuma today, either?” the spotted heroine asked as soon as they both settled to sit down, overlooking the city from its highest point.

Her partner shrugged. “Nuh-uh, not one,” he said nonchalantly, looking at the sky.

Ladybug sighed. “It’s been, what, three months now? The longest Hawkmoth’s ever taken to create another Akuma was, what, two weeks?”

Chat Noir hummed in agreement. The quietness of Hawkmoth in the past few months actually made it to the breaking news. On a less important note, Ladyblog had started losing visitors due to lack of Akuma news and Alya’s conscience was torn between wanting visitors and appreciating the peace Hawkmoth’s absence had provided. Overall, the superheroes enjoyed the less dangerous daily life despite the ever-present anxiety of “what if Hawkmoth reappeared with an ambush” in the back of their minds.

“Do you think maybe he’s surrendered?” Chat guessed.

Ladybug scoffed. “Without so much as telling us? What a jerk.”

Chat shrugged.

Ladybug gasped and he looked at her. “Maybe he’s planning something even bigger. Something that might even make Heroes’ Day look like an appetizer.”

“M’lady, what have you been watching these days?” Chat Noir laughed and received a punch in the arm.

“Hey, that’s still a possibility, right?” she said, pouting. “I mean, I’m happy for him if he quits being a bad guy, but I wish he would’ve given us a heads up. Or at least return both the Butterfly and the Peacock to Master Fu.”

“True, that,” Chat agreed.

“And speaking of Master Fu, he told me the other day that if Hawkmoth doesn’t make a move for the entirety of this year, we’re going to have to return our Miraculous.”

That got Chat’s full attention. “Whaaaat?” he whined. “We’re retiring? I always thought I’d keep this job until I’m like, twenty. Bummer.”

His partner shrugged. “Me, too.”

Chat Noir looked at the sky again. “But without Akumas around, I think don’t think they need us around much. The city will be back to, you know, non-magical crimes and non-magical justice.” Ladybug snorted and Chat grinned at her. “We’re so lax, too, lately. I’m not confident I can even beat up Mr. Pigeon now, moreover one of Mayura’s Protectors.”

Ladybug gasped again, snapping her head dramatically to look at Chat who was already grinning wide with anticipation. “Maybe that’s what Hawkmoth is aiming for!” she exclaimed. “You know, so we lower our guard and then he—”

“Bugaboo, stop!” he laughed and she laughed along.

The two enjoyed the slow afternoon and laughed to their hearts’ content, sighing in content as they overlooked the peaceful city that they loved. The city whose peace they’d fought for.

“But, hey,” Chat spoke up again after a while. “If we quit being superheroes, does that mean we’re allowed to know each other’s identities now?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows in an exaggerated manner and leaning into her.

“Not so fast, kitty.” Ladybug huffed playfully and flicked his bell. “We still have four months to go.”

The two superheroes spent the whole afternoon talking about the what-ifs. Everything they could do and no longer do once they gave up their superhero identities. Everything they would do for fun if they could finally know each other in real life. All the bets they placed about how the other would be in real life and the promises they made to make sure they would stay in touch became a way to deal with the potential separation that would come forth by the end of the year.

None of them were ready to stop being superheroes.

* * *

It was one day in mid fall. Nathalie was scanning the menu and scrutinizing the overpriced list of undersized dishes, like she did every single time she came here for a meal. It was never easy to choose even though she wasn’t the one paying. She was methodically comparing two dishes when Gabriel asked, “Where are we?”

She slightly lowered to menu to look at him, then looked around. “In your favorite restaurant, Le Cinq, sir. You told me to make a reservation for lunch here today.”

He sighed and used his hand to lower her menu until it was flat on the table and there was nothing between them. And that was when she noticed he had asked the waiter who attended to their table to excuse himself.

“No, where _are_ we in this relationship?” he asked again, “And _please _drop the “sir”, it is just the two of us here.”

It had been approximately six months since that night Gabriel turned up in her doorstep asking if she wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with him. They had spent nearly a month trying to figure out how to make things work because of their complicated circumstances but soon life went on without any decision made. Gabriel had promised her to stop creating Akumas; a promise he’d kept to this day that she sincerely appreciated. She had always wanted him to stop for a long time now and had only once agreed to help him as Mayura because it seemed to be the fastest way to make him stop: help him achieve his goal faster.

She had not touched the Peacock Miraculous since then; fighting the urge with strong determination and distractions such as finding new hobbies. She found comfort in doing edgeless jigsaw puzzles nowadays. The fact that Gabriel hid the brooch in a location unknown to her and how he would steel his heart whenever she tried to talk him into telling her played a huge role in making her stop completely.

All the recurring nightmares, haunting hallucinations and persistent pain from half a year ago seemed like a distant dream now.

At one point, Gabriel revealed how he’d been looking for the Guardian of the Miraculous because there was a chance that he could fix the Peacock. He also promised her that he would return both Miraculouses to the Guardian if he found the person in question. Of course, when he brought it up, she insisted on helping him. Since then, they had been dutifully covering areas in Paris, making stops on every area’s landmark like some uneducated tourists for a chance to stumble upon the person who could potentially end everything for them. They would pretend to be enjoying the view or having lunch around some areas so they didn’t look like desperate detectives. Today was one of those days.

There was never a name to their relationship even after six months and he suddenly had the audacity to ask her about it like she held all answers to the secret of the world when they’d never even said the three words to each other yet.

“Well… I can’t be sure,” she answered after what seemed like minutes, holding off the “sir” that almost followed. What did he expect from such spontaneous pop quiz when all that was in her mind before this was what to choose between cheese plate and mussels for starters?

“Very well,” he said, nodding and bringing his hands together. “Let me rephrase: where do you want this relationship to go?”

Okay, but that was that really an appropriate question to ask just before lunch? She felt like her empty stomach was suddenly filled with a boulder and her cheeks were burning up like some simple-minded schoolgirl when she looked down. “Are we in a rush?” she asked, trying to beat around the bush.

“Nathalie.” He sighed, immediately catching up on what she was doing. “People have been talking about us at work. _Adrien _has been asking me about us. Both of us are no longer young. There is no time to waste for relationships that are not here to stay.”

Nathalie bit her lip, unsure of how to respond. Why was he always so good at rational arguments? “I…” she mumbled, suddenly finding the menu the most interesting thing in the world.

“I can’t be the only one trying to make this relationship work. We must work on it together.” He smiled kindly at her and it took everything she had not to combust right there and then. She was reminded again how strong her feelings for him were. Except she wasn’t sure if those feelings were entirely hers.

“So, what do you say about it, Nathalie?” he asked, stretching out a hand across the table. “Are you ready to take one step further now?”

She had so many doubts. So many questions. But when she looked at his outstretched hand and his smiling face, experiencing a sense of déjà vu all the while, she allowed a small smile make its way to her face to mirror his and reached for his much bigger hand; her mind wandered to an orange sky that she could never forget.

* * *

Adrien choked on thin air when his Father strolled into his room with Nathalie behind him like there was nothing wrong in the world. He was just minding his own business, scrolling down the Ladyblog page that, due to the lack of Akuma attacks in months, had turned into a makeshift fanfiction site where many LadyNoir stories were posted, when his Father decided to hurl mind-blowing news at him.

“You _what_?” Adrien squeaked, not believing his ears. He shot up from his seat, not even bothering to close the fanfiction he was reading or hiding the half-eaten piece of Camembert Plagg left on his table in a rush escape when his Father barged in without knocking.

His Father simply said, “I fired Nathalie.” Like it was common sense.

Adrien covered his face with his palm and chuckled dangerously, took a deep breath and then yelped, “_Why_?!” Both adults were startled by the sudden outburst. “I mean, what could she have _possibly _done to deserve this? Are you telling me you’re confident about finding another assistant who’s more capable than her when it comes to putting up with your—with your _craps_?!”

Gabriel was perplexed by his son’s choice of word but attempted to clear the misunderstanding, “Adrien—”

“No!” the boy shouted, putting a hand between him and Gabriel. “No, Father, I _dare_ you. Find one.”

Gabriel tried again. “Adrien, you need to calm—”

“I can’t believe you’d do something like that!” he wouldn’t let his Father interrupt him this time because it was beyond unforgivable. How could he? “What would this motherless house become without Nathalie, Father? Tell me!”

This time, Nathalie spoke up, “Adrien—”

“Oh my gosh, Nathalie, I’m so sorry.” He came to her and brought her hands into his. “But don’t worry, I’ll do _anything_ to stop my Father from kicking you out, I promise.”

Nathalie gently pulled her hands away from the boy’s and switched their position, hers holding his instead. “Your Father is not _kicking me out_, Adrien, please listen.”

“So why would he fire you?” Adrien frowned, shaking his head. “I don’t understand. I don’t want you to leave,” he begged with misty eyes.

Gabriel took over and began explaining as he was the best when it came to wording flawless elucidation. “We figured that it is going to be a little too difficult to manage both professional and romantic relationships so I decided Nathalie would stop being my assistant until we are certain we can balance them. For now, she shall only attend to you. She will still manage your schedule and accompany you to school.” He sighed at his awestruck son. “Goodness gracious, you must learn to be calm and listen to people, son.”

“Ohhh,” Adrien said in relief, ignoring the last warning and then chuckled at himself. “Thank God, I thought—” then his expression dropped when he realized something. “Wait, _romantic _relationship?” he asked, eyes wide.

Gabriel only nodded like he was confirming an order. “That being said, we have decided to take it slow because we are not in a hurry.”

The boy looked back and forth between his Father and Nathalie and then mumbled in disbelief, “No way…”

Nathalie smiled and opened her arms. Adrien grinned so widely his cheeks hurt. He basically threw himself against her and squeezed her like there was no tomorrow. He couldn’t remember how many times he told them how happy he was. And he swore he had tears in his eyes when she finally told him, “I love you, Adrien.”

* * *

“I think we made a huge mistake telling Adrien first before doing this,” Nathalie said, casting a look at Gabriel who was standing by her side, holding her hand tight.

“I happen to agree.” He squeezed her hand tighter.

“But it has to be done nonetheless,” she reminded. “Don’t back out now.”

He sighed. “I know. And I will do it today.”

Before them was the human-sized tube. A life supporter tube that Gabriel had gotten when Emilie had shown signs of fatal deterioration. She had gotten so sick and vulnerable that even standing was a task so strenuous. No doctor could tell what was wrong but both husband and wife knew exactly why. Gabriel was the one who came up with the suggestion. He told her that he would put her in a cold sleep until he could find a way to cure her. He would not let her die. He had promised her. And the tube had been the only way to perpetuate her life since. Turning it off equaled to letting her die.

Deep inside, he knew for a long that he probably couldn’t save her. Ladybug and Chat Noir had said that if he had his wish granted, somebody else would have to pay the price. What if it was someone important to him, too? What if it was Adrien?

Despite that, he could never find the courage to let his love die. He couldn’t betray her. But he had to learn to let go. The past year had taught him that. He had a life to look forward to. He had a son who had accepted the fact that his Mother was no longer around. He didn’t have to keep clinging onto the past and dwell on the mistakes that could no longer be fixed.

“Stay calm.” It was Nathalie who was squeezing his hand now, and he felt his ragged breathing relax. “We can’t be sure what will happen.”

Her words reminded him again of what they’d both feared the most about doing what they were about to do. “But what if you—”

“Disappear? Then, isn’t it better to know sooner before we take any step further?” she asked, smiling up at him.

He frowned. “I dislike the fact that I feel more nervous than you do even though you are the one who will be directly affected.”

She snorted. “Believe me, it’s just a defense mechanism,” she said and he wasn’t sure if she was talking about him or herself. Then she smiled at him again. “Are you ready?”

Gabriel nodded and released her hand before walking up to the tube. He admired the love of his life for the last time and tried to burn every one of her features into his memory. Her golden locks. Her rosy cheeks. Her lips. Her smile. Their first date. Their first kiss. Their marriage. The birth of their son. Everything was now an unattainable past. He had to put everything behind him.

Now.

His shaky finger hovered over the button for what seemed like minutes but Nathalie didn’t rush him. With rounded determination, he then pressed on the button that would determine his wife’s life and death, then squeezed his eyes shut.

He could hear a couple of beeps that indicated the tube had shut down the life support systems one by one, on the way to entirely shut itself down. On every beep, he could feel his heartbeat accelerating and his mind going miles, back and forth reconsidering his actions. Should he stop? Gabriel’s eyes remained shut so he didn’t falter.

If he had turned around, however, he would’ve watched his fears rapidly turning into reality.

Nathalie felt something inside her snap. Her eyes widened but she wasn’t exactly looking at anything. Voices rose from the core of her head, pleading to be heard. It was hard to breathe.

Their assumption was correct, after all. Nathalie was born from Emilie. Nathalie had received her physical form from the Peacock’s power. And as the Peacock was damaged, the power experienced malfunctions as well. Nathalie had received a permanent physical form since five years ago and couldn’t return to Emilie. She had completely separated herself from her parent entity and developed her own sense of self and will. Yet it was likely that she would disappear along with Emilie’s soul if the latter were to die.

It seemed to be the case.

_Sir, _she wanted to say but corrected herself. “Gabriel,” she called with the most neutral voice. She was relieved when Gabriel didn’t move from his spot and his eyes were likely still closed. “Will you tell me what you’d wish for if you were to obtain the absolute power?” She didn’t let him answer before she added, “For the Madame to be healed? For her to never have used the Peacock? For you to never have gone to Tibet?”

“My wish,” he started, back still facing hers, “was for the Miraculouses to have never existed.” She didn’t expect that. “That way, I would not stumble upon them during my Tibet trip. That way, Emilie would not be so helplessly entranced by the Peacock. That way, my son would never have lost his mother. That way, I would not use the Butterfly to terror the city. Such power was not meant to be wielded by mortals like us.”

She didn’t respond and instead, clutched the fabric of her sweater where her chest was and gasped for air but nothing came in. It was on her third failed attempt to secure air that she began kneeling on the floor. Oxygen slowly left her brain and she felt as though she was floating in the air. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to make her conditions known by the man whose back was in front of her.

She couldn’t find it in her to deny that it was better this way.

He would find someone else. He only needed to let go of that first heartbreak. And he’s doing it right now, steadily and courageously. Pride bubbled inside her. Despite everything, he was a wonderful person. A caring, earnest, loving man who was only once broken by lost love. Anybody would be lucky to have him as their partner.

Nathalie smiled and closed her eyes. She was their Protector. _His _Protector. Her job was done.

_I love you, _she mouthed in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that was a wild ride. But next chapter is the last so prepare for more feels ;)
> 
> Oh and, I will love you if you leave kudos/comments <3 it's what I live off of these days ehe


	6. Protector

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tragedy. Tragedy. Tragedy. And more tragedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to update this yesterday but my brain was paralyzed by Miracle Queen.

Ladybug was surprised. Shocked. Elated. Relieved. But above all, confused.

_How?_

One afternoon, during their patrol, Chat came over and handed her two things that never in her wildest dreams she’d ever imagined she would hold. Before today, she didn’t even know their exact shape, only what she could interpret from the book.

The Butterfly and Peacock Miraculouses rested in her palm when she shot Chat a look that she couldn’t even tell for sure could be passed as sane. She studied his expression, searching for any signs that said it was a prank, but relented when she couldn’t find any. If it indeed was, she would make sure he’d regret ever knowing her.

Thousands of questions ran miles in her head but the only thing she managed to choke out was, “How?”

And like a switch had been flipped, Chat broke. He fell on his knees, startling his partner with the sudden meltdown, then buried his face into his hands. His shoulders shook in such tremor that she could instantly tell he had been holding back for so long. When he started sobbing, Ladybug kneeled with him, placed the Miraculouses on the roof beside her, and pulled her partner into a hug. He choked and gasped like a little boy and she found her own eyes watering, too. Her heart broke with him. She couldn’t begin to guess what happened but if it made him this upset, it couldn’t be anything good.

“Sshh, it’s okay,” she whispered in his ear, biting back her own tears. “It’s okay. I’m here for you, kitty. Always.”

* * *

Nathalie watched as her boss cradled his wife in his arms. So tight, so desperate. The blonde woman’s breathing was almost non-existent.

Nathalie had sent Adrien away to the Bourgeois for a sleepover for days now because Emilie’s condition had deteriorated dramatically over the week and none of the couple had the chance to think about what to do with the little boy. Adrien was a sharp boy, and he had picked up that something was amiss but chose not to question it. He flashed a smile and waved at Nathalie when she saw him off with a backpack behind him, not even questioning why his parents didn’t see him off.

After making sure Adrien was not around to witness the nightmare-inducing views of his sickly Mother and sleep-deprived Father, Nathalie had tried to assist the husband and wife however she could; researching the woman’s symptoms online to find the remedies, looking up underground doctors who normally deal with infamous diseases, hiring people to find rare herbs that could possibly heal the most dangerous disease. She had done everything she could, with or without Gabriel’s instruction, but Emilie’s life seemed to continue slipping away from them as the clock ticked.

Gabriel, in his desperate attempt to prolong his chance of saving his wife, had requested her to order a life support tube that was impossible to obtain through normal means. Nathalie had waited to hear back from the maker.

Clutching the tab close to her chest, Nathalie bit her lip, unable to hide to rising panic and the feeling of helplessness that was gurgling inside her stomach. She watched as Gabriel whispered reassuring words into Emilie’s ear. Those words that she was sure he himself didn’t quite believe.

It was only until some days later that the tube had arrived and Nathalie watched as her boss carried his wife into her new living space for the next… however long he might take to save her. She had begun to hate only being able to watch. They exchanged a promise before he kissed her forehead and closed the tube. Nathalie could see the last smile the woman casted at her, mouthing, “Protect them,” before she closed her eyes and went into a deep, long slumber with no definite waking hour in sight. Nathalie had only managed a nod to ensure the other woman that their own promise had been exchanged as well.

Gabriel stood there in stillness for minutes and Nathalie didn’t move from her spot behind him.

“The power exhausted her,” Gabriel suddenly spoke up after a long silence. Nathalie’s head perked up but only his back was facing her. “For three years, the Miraculous has been extracting energy from her,” he said, then turned around to face Nathalie with such cold, menacing gaze that she promptly froze. “To power _you_.”

Nathalie held her breath, unable to deny the accusation.

He walked slowly towards her, his breaths heavy and his glasses fogged from anger. Nathalie shuddered under his hateful gaze but remained in her spot. She couldn’t find it in her to deny him or defend herself. Because it was only true.

“Some Protector you are,” he whispered when he was inches from her, venom dripping from his every word.

She looked down, terrified and guilt-driven. “I…I apologize, sir. But—”

“I should have done everything in my power to get rid of you since day one,” he interrupted, slicing her non-existent heart in two with his words. “But I had to wait three years until everything is irreversible. Until Emilie has grown to love you too much. Until _I _have grown to appreciate you too much.”

Nathalie gulped. “Sir, I—” She was once again interrupted, this time by the powerful hands wrapping her thin neck. She dropped her tab to the floor with a loud clank and attempted to hold the hands that were holding her neck with a death grip.

“Why must you exist?” he asked in a dangerous whisper. His eyes glinting with such animosity and a tint of regret. “Why, Protector, **_WHY?!_**”

The woman tensed when the loss of oxygen had started kicking in her survival instincts. She gripped the man’s hands to try and tear them away from her neck but he seemed so lost in her anger and sadness that his humanity went away with it. Seconds passed as she attempted to claw at his fingers, choking and gasping.

“**Gabriel**!” she screamed and his strength finally halted. Almost immediately, his hands let go of her neck and dropped beside him. Nathalie coughed and gasped for air, her face red and ears ringing.

Gabriel chuckled, and much to her concern, sounding crazed. “You even sound like her.” Nathalie looked up at him with a frown. She was not granted much time to react when his head landed on her shoulder. She froze, not sure how to react.

The man whispered dreadfully, “Are you going to stay here and haunt me for eternity? Remind me of my failure? Will you, Nathalie?” he whispered, sorrow enveloping every word.

Her hand moved to give him a reassuring pat on the head but stopped halfway. She inhaled, then squared her shoulders to choke out, “Sir, I apologize for causing the current predicament,” she said apologetically. “But please believe me when I say I will gladly give up my life if it means the Madame will be healed.”

He was silent for a couple of seconds before his head left her shoulder. “You better be.” His voice was rigid again as he fixed his tie. “Because if that is an option, I will take it without second thoughts.”

“Of course, sir.” She nodded professionally.

Gabriel stomped off, leaving her in the cold basement without looking back. She crouched down to pick up her tab, unlocking the screen to see a photo of Gabriel, Emilie and Adrien smiling on a picnic at the Versailles. She pursed her quivering lips slightly and hugged the tab in her chest.

“Because I am your Protector,” she finished, unheard.

* * *

Nathalie snapped her eyes open. Her gaze travelled everywhere. Where was she? Reality had only dawned on her when she took a look at herself. She still existed. She looked outside the window of the room she was in, only to see snow piling up outside. The color outside was so monotonous it brought peace to her soul. But in some places, she could see the colorful Christmas lights blinking in excitement to welcome the holiday.

When she looked around, she realized it was one of the guest rooms in the Agreste mansion. She would know, because she had been the one responsible of arranging it to be hospitable for Gabriel’s business partners to stay a couple of times before. It was smaller than Gabriel and Adrien’s rooms, of course, but it was considerably bigger than what people in general would find adequate.

She looked at her side. On the bedside table were a couple of get-well gifts, most likely from Adrien, judging from the writing on the notes.

_Get well soon, Nathalie. We miss you._

She smiled at the sweet note and noticed the calender marked by X’s that appeared to show how long she had been out. It had been two weeks. By the time she tried to detach the plethora of tubes from the respiratory and medical life support systems surrounding her, the door of her room flew open, showing a very flustered Gabriel Agreste. His normally picture-perfect hair was not treated well by the wind. His glasses were slightly crooked. His breathing was ragged. So far the only thing that remained calm was his literal pants.

“Nathalie,” he called in-between huffing and puffing.

Only when she tried to respond him did she realize her voice was dried out in her throat, probably from not being used for too long. She started coughing lightly.

He rushed to her side and bent over to pat her back gently. When she calmed down, he went and pulled a chair so he could sit beside her bed. Wordlessly, he took her hand in his.

“I couldn’t do it,” he confessed, biting his lip and looking down. “Forgive me, Nathalie.”

Nathalie tried to produce her voice. “But… how?” It came out hoarse but it’s better than nothing.

He gave her a small smile seeing how quick she managed to return to talking. “I knew,” he said, remembering how he had cancelled the shutdown just before the last beep went off. “I had a hunch that you would disappear with Emilie. Of course, I had no way to say for sure, but I felt like you would. I wasn’t just preparing to lose Emilie that day. I was battling my conscience because I knew I would lose _both_ of you.” He brought his hands together on his lap. “In the end, I was too afraid. Forgive me.”

Nathalie was quiet, unable to put everything together in her head because she still felt the strong headache from waking up after a long slumber. Inside, she knew she had a sinister laugh. How could she not? The man who used to say he would happily throw her life into the gutter had told her he was too afraid to lose her. Saying it was ironic was an understatement.

“Are you upset?” he asked carefully.

“I…” her voice was hoarse and faded. Gabriel instinctively grabbed her a cup of water. After gulfing it down, she felt her voice returning slowly. “I really thought… it was the end,” she finally said.

He nodded. “I believe you did.”

“What are we going to do now?” she said slowly. “There is no closure in sight.”

“There is.” Gabriel looked determined. “Many things have happened while you were out. I believe I should fill you in with the new information. Adrien is at school. But I already requested the Gorilla to let him know about you. He insisted on coming home right away. He should be here any minute now.”

Nathalie only nodded, still looking like she was in a trance.

“I handed him our Miraculouses,” Gabriel suddenly said.

Nathalie frowned. She had so many questions but as her voice was not completely back, she started with what mattered the most, “Who?”

“Adrien.”

She was even more confused. “Why?”

“He is Chat Noir.”

* * *

Adrien tapped his feet against the car floor mats, wishing the seconds could go as fast as his tapping. He wanted to tell the Gorilla to go faster, but he knew the man was already doing his best. He wouldn’t want them to be halted by a cop for breaking the speed limit, either.

He sighed and looked out the window. He remembered clearly what he felt when the Gorilla had texted him saying Nathalie was finally awake. He felt like the whole world stopped and he was the only person not stopping. His heart rammed against his ribcage and he didn’t realize when Nino had nudged him to let him know Miss Bustier was looking at him. He didn’t hear anything when the kind teacher gently warned him about not using phone in class. He snapped his head around to look at his Lady—Marinette, who blinked at him in utter confusion.

A smile split his face and his eyes were watering when he told her, “Nathalie is awake.”

He was so sure the whole class were looking at them when Marinette gasped, took his hand into a reassuring squeeze and smiled at him. She gave him a determined look, all from knowing his pain and devastation during the past two weeks, and whispered, “Go.”

The whole class gasped when he nodded and kissed her cheek before excusing himself, sweeping all of his belongings on the table into his bag, then slung it over his shoulder and dashed off in a flurry. Their relationship was still a secret, but surely Marinette wouldn’t mind having to sit with everyone to explain what just went down over lunch.

When the car pulled over in the front yard, Adrien basically sprung out of the car and shot through the mansion like a bullet towards the guest room.

“Nathalie! Thank God, I thought you’d never wake up again!” he exclaimed when he spotted the woman on the bed, looking like she was already anticipating his arrival. Probably due to his thundering footsteps. But it didn’t matter. “C-can I?” he asked, slowly approaching her.

Nathalie smiled and opened her arms. Adrien threw himself into her arms and squeezed her, careful not to do it too hard.

“I’m so relieved.” He sighed in her embrace. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Actually, I think I feel very fine, like I was never asleep.” Her voice was back and her muscles no longer felt numb.

Adrien let go of her and nodded with a relieved smile. “That’s good.”

Gabriel brought an extra chair for Adrien so the boy could sit beside Nathalie’s bed as well. Flashing his Father an appreciative smile, Adrien then took the seat and held one of Nathalie’s hands as they continued talking about what went down while she was asleep. The blond focused on the joyous news such as his budding relationship with Marinette, which Nathalie listened to intently with occasional nods and a thin smile. She appreciated Adrien’s effort to avoid pointing out the fact that both her and his Father were once the enemy of him and his girlfriend.

“I heard from your Father that we will let the Guardian know once I woke up,” Nathalie brought up at one point.

Adrien nodded. “Yeah, he forbade Master Fu to fix it before then because, according to Father, you might disappear if the Peacock Miraculous is fixed. I have no complete understanding on the matter so I’m currently just agreeing at whatever.”

“Yes. But that is not important. Will the Madame be healed if the Miraculous is fixed?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Because, going by the logic, the Madame is only in her current predicament because of the broken—”

“No,” Adrien interjected. “What do you mean by _not important_? Nathalie, do you think we only like you because you remind us of Mom or something?”

Nathalie blinked, agape. “I… No, that was not my intention. But I can understand how you would interpret it that way.”

“Just so you know, Nathalie, the only reason I’m not reduced to a crying mess right here and now is because I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or guilty, not because I have no qualms about what will inevitably happen.” Adrien pouted mildly that Nathalie wondered if he was being serious. “Do you want me to cry?”

“…I apologize.”

He smiled at her and gave her a quick hug.

Gabriel, who had only been a silent spectator up to that moment, spoke up, “Shall we inform the Guardian now?” It didn’t take a mind-reader to know how anxious he was. His left foot was lightly tapping the floor in an attempt to shake off his anxiety.

Nathalie was about to nod when Adrien yelled, “Wait!” The two adults looked at him. “Can we… can we wait until after Christmas? I promised to plan something for your birthday, Nathalie. Do you remember?”

The woman nodded. “I do.”

The older Agreste let out an exasperated sigh. “Adrien, let’s not overlook what’s important because of such trivial feeling. Nathalie is in a hurry.” Adrien had to ignore how specious that sounded.

“I can wait,” Nathalie said.

“Nathalie, you yourself said you wanted it to be over as soon as possible.” From the way Gabriel insisted, however, it seemed as though he was the one who wanted it to be over as soon as possible. Adrien was once again reminded of how bad his Father handled feelings.

Adrien looked dejected but Nathalie held his hand.

“I did. But if there’s one thing I can give Adrien before I leave, this is it. I don’t wish to leave Adrien with a regret. He doesn’t deserve it.”

* * *

Christmas day was normal. The most normal Christmas Adrien had ever had in a while, in fact. He woke up to snow piling up outside. The floors were freezing and his windows were fogged, but his heart was warm with anticipation. He opened the room of his door and ran down the stairs to the big Christmas tree that stood just besides the staircase. He smiled at the tree, reminiscing how, last year, Nathalie had made his first Christmas with friends happen. He wouldn’t forget the excitement and warmth he felt that night. He remembered falling a sleep with a smile on his face and not remembering the actual coldness of the weather that night. And he owed it all to Nathalie. This year, he made it his personal mission to make it her best birthday ever.

Adrien went to the kitchen and produce a box of Christmas cake from the Dupain-Cheng bakery out of the fridge. He smiled when he remembered how Marinette had insisted upon coming over on Christmas day to serve as his emotional support but he ensured her that the only support he needed from her was a perfect red velvet cake that wasn’t too sweet because like his Father, Nathalie wasn’t a huge fan of sweet treats. They had spent the afternoon baking the cake together. Adrien promised himself to bring her to lunch as a form of appreciation for not kicking him out of the kitchen as soon as he fabulously knocked off their first dough and poured the blessing right into the sink or when he tripped over a rolling pin and, at his desperate attempt to stay balanced, grabbed Marinette’s collar, fell anyway, and ripped a couple of buttons off her shirt. It was a major disaster and he had no one to thank but God and Marinette that the cake came out in one piece.

When Adrien finished placing the cake on the dining table and arranging plates, he puffed his chest proudly. He didn’t forget to snap a picture and send it to Marinette. Then he went back to his own room, rummaged his old bookshelf before pulling out an old picturebook. He smiled when he looked at the cover. Despite the faded colors, it still reminded him of that night like an old photograph. His Father had told him all about Nathalie and the Christmas spirit. Even so, he still couldn’t quite believe it. He scanned through the pages to make sure all of them were intact before he decided it’s time to wake the adults.

“Father?” he called, uncertain if he was seeing things because it was still so early in the morning and his Father was there, still in his pajamas, standing in front of the guest room where Nathalie had been staying for the past few days.

The man jumped a bit when he was called, then turned to face his son. “Oh, it’s you, Adrien,” he said, as if there was someone else in the house besides Adrien, himself, and the woman sleeping behind the door he was standing at.

Father and son exchanged looks before they both smiled. Adrien, book in hand, joined the older man in front of the door before they both opened it.

* * *

Master Fu rang the doorbell to the Agreste mansion, waiting for the gate to open with his hands behind his back and a serene smile on his face. In one of his hands was a black and red box that contained the object that had ruined the family he was about to meet, but which had also bestowed them with a miracle no other had witnessed. Today, he would be the one to reduce that miracle into nothingness. To restore the balance once broken by the damaged jewelry and equally damaged god.

“Come in,” was Gabriel Agreste’s voice from the intercom before the gate opened.

Master Fu stepped inside, the gate closing behind him.

* * *

They were in the basement. And while it was not the first time Adrien had seen his Mother in her casket, it didn’t stop him for feeling overwhelmed. Ever since Gabriel had told him everything, many times he wondered if things would be different if back then, he actually asked what was wrong with his family. Master Fu was crouching before the casket, with the Peacock Miraculous between them. The little old man moved his arms around like he was moving waves and if Adrien didn’t know better, he would say he was drunk.

Just a few hours ago, they were in the kitchen, slicing cakes and chattering away about pointless things. Then they were in the living room, cuddling together under a blanket while reading picturebook. Then they were under the Christmas tree, opening presents. It was a normalcy they knew they treasured.

Then they were down in the basement, saying goodbye.

“I guess this is it,” Nathalie said, turning around to face the two Agreste men while Master Fu worked his magic behind her. She put a professional distance between them.

Adrien tried to crack a smile. “Yeah.”

There was a growing silence between them before Gabriel spoke up, “Nathalie.”

She looked up at him. “Yes?”

“Ever since that Christmas night,” he started and she gave him her full attention. “I have always regretted the fact that Emilie had to use the Peacock Miraculous. I have regarded it as nothing short of a part of history that I desperately strife to remove.”

Nathalie breathed an ironic chuckle. “I know.”

“But if there is one thing I could not regret about that night, it is that I was allowed to know the amazing woman that is you.” Gabriel smiled at her but didn’t make an attempt to close the distance they had wordlessly agreed to put, his hands clasped firmly behind his back.

Adrien blinked and bit his lip before looking away, his heart weighing on the upcoming inevitable farewell.

Nathalie tried not to let the two males that had held such huge chunk of her heart see her falter. She smiled at both of them before saying, “I’m glad I was given the chance to exist as well. To be a part of this family. To be by your sides through highs and lows.”

Gabriel looked at her, a smile making its way to his grim expression. Beside him, Adrien inhaled and blinked rapidly, wiping the single tear that was starting to form with his thumb. He wanted to say something, too. Because he would never be able to again. But he was afraid of what he would tell her. He was afraid of all the screaming and crying and begging that was halted in his throat. He didn’t want her to leave. He didn’t want to lose another mother.

“Because of you,” Nathalie continued, placing a hand against her chest, “I grew a heart.” She bowed formally at them. “Thank you.”

Both Gabriel and Adrien bowed back. “Thank you as well,” the older man said when they faced each other again. He smiled. “To you, my loyal assistant. My partner. It was a pleasure to know you and work with you.”

She smiled back. “The feeling is mutual,” she paused, before adding, “sir.” There was barely a pause before she added, “Have I helped you, sir, all the way to the end?”

Gabriel immediately caught her implications to their first meeting. His smile didn’t falter. “You have. All the way to the end.”

“Nathalie,” Adrien finally said, after making sure he was strong enough to say something without breaking down. “Thank you for being there for me and my Father when we were at our lowest point of life. I—” Tears started pooling in his eyes but he smiled nonetheless. “I love you so much,” he finished. It took everything he had not to close the distance between him and the woman and tackle her in a hug.

The three of them were simultaneously alarmed when the woman began glowing faintly. It reminded them of when Mayura would renounce her Protector, except instead of black light, it was golden. Nathalie Sancoeur was not born out of negative emotion.

“It’s time,” Nathalie said matter-of-factly.

Both males nodded.

They expected her to disperse and disappear, completely out of reach forever. They expected to watch her turn into light. They expected to cry their hearts out in their rooms privately afterwards. What they didn’t expect was when she took the initiative to close the unspoken distance between them, tackled both men into a hug by their necks, and whispered, “I love you.”

They watched as her body became translucent, almost completely white. Her features changed rapidly into something less human. Something Adrien knew too well to forget. The entity flapped her wings once, grand and beautiful, glowing in blinding golden light, then whirled like the wind and vanished, leaving nothing behind.

Both Gabriel and Adrien stood still and continued watching the spot where she had left them for good. They stayed like there for almost a minute before Adrien broke down and like a dam had broken down, he shook and cried freely, letting the tears flow like somebody left the faucet running. He screamed in frustration and choked like a little boy. Gabriel kneeled down beside his son and held him close.

Master Fu walked up to them and said, “Thank you for doing the right thing.” He bowed at both Agreste men as he placed the brooch back into its box, back into its home after so long.

The kwami residing inside smiled and and closed her eyes, finally having obtained the peace that had slipped away from her nearly two hundred years ago.

* * *

Adrien went back to his room, heart still heavy from the farewell. His eyes started watering again whenever he remembered where a certain woman would be standing while watching him play his piano. Where she would stand and read him his schedule for the day. Where she would stand when waiting for him to finish his meals. When she talked to him and listened to him. When she hugged him and told him she loved him. The home was marked with her presence.

When he walked around his room to absorb the feeling left by the teary goodbye, he spotted a piece of paper and a single rose by its side, serving as both a weight and a side decoration.

Adrien rushed to get his Father. When they returned to see the paper again, both Father and son looked at it and smiled, holding each other to show their affection and give each other strength. Tears threatened to fall, but they wouldn’t wipe out the smiles on their faces.

On Adrien’s table, just before his computer screens that displayed a photo of the trip to Versailles—of him, his Father, and one missing woman—was a small paper. On it was written in familiar, meticulous block letters:

** _ I love you. I’m always with you._ **

** _ \- Your Protector _ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this ride. It's a fairly old story (posted this on ff.net last November so its first anniversary is quite near) but it's still one that I enjoy re-reading from time to time.  
The Sentimonster theory has become mainstream now but I like to believe I was one of the very first people who thought of this possibility :)
> 
> I hope to post more stories for this fandom (most likely for GabeNath) in the future so see you guys around!


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